Feels so good to be home. Lots of things to get done before I go back. Both my best friends' birthdays to prepare for, going to CSI exhibit in Museum of Science & Industry hopefully, shopping last minute stuff for school, start packing like crazy, and a lot of Koinonia stuff to pray about.

The retreat was probably the best I've ever been to. I think being a counselor really forces me to pray for the retreat. B/c going as a student, I didn't REALLY prepare for it. I prayed for myself a couple times, but I didn't try hard enough. As a counselor, our perspective is different. We're not just thinking about getting blessed, but how the younger generation can change the world. We're more aware of the spiritual battles going on and how we're part of God's redemptive plan. As a student, I only thought about myself: What am I getting out of this, how can I better myself, what can I do different when I go home, when am I going home? haha.

The most important thing that I learned was that repentance leads to everything.
1. Repentance leads to self-awareness.
When I repent of my sins, I am consciously aware of my actions the next time I do it. And I remember how much it hurt to repent and to come before God repenting of the same things, and I try harder not to fall into sin again.

2. Repentance leads to more thankfulness.
At the retreat, I repented heavily about my selfishness and ungratefulness. I received a car this summer and as happy as I was, I wasn't totally thankful. I said I was, but my heart didn't agree. Why couldn't I get that Jetta or Civic? Why do I have to drive a PT cruiser? But repenting about things like that made me realize how lucky I am. Just like God provided the Israelites w/ the Promise Land, protected them from enemies, and gave them the best of everything, I should be joyful just for the very air that I breathe.

3. Repentance keeps your eyes on the cross.
We don't repent so we can feel sorry for ourselves and cry until we turn blue. We don't repent so that we think lower of ourselves. The real reason is to accept Jesus as the sacrifice and atonement for our sins. The reason God gives us a second, third, millionth chance is not because He thinks we can do better. But it's because THROUGH Jesus Christ we can do better. We can become better. We can work harder. Only through the cross we can find redemption and a changed attitude. Unless you think about the cross, true repentance will not come. We cannot absolve ourselves of our sins, only Jesus Christ can.

4. Repentance leads to an intimate relationship with God.
There's nothing hindering you from God anymore if you've repented. There's no shame b/c Jesus bore it for us. We come before God completely humble and naked, knowing that only God can give us the satisfaction that we desire. The relationship is defined: We live for God and for His glory. We don't live for ourselves and we are not above God.

The seminar that I attended was also inspiring. I think I might start incorporating in dance to Koinonia. I dunno what kind of interest we'll have, but maybe we'll have more interest if people are willing to put time into it. It'll also be a great way to draw in people who weren't that serious about their relationship with God and help them realize that any talent can be used for God. Even hip-hop. =) I'm excited. I really wish I took dance lessons now. I mean, really.

Alright. That's all for now. I got a lot of things to do today. I'm going to the CSI exhibit tomorrow !
SAWEEEEEEEEEEET. ^ ^

DJ Maj - Boogiroot // download HERE