i anticipate that there will be more "blasts from the past" entries.
even though there are SO many things i could be reading right now... i decided to go through my old xanga entries. i actually started 3 different xangas... but i'm reading the third one, which is also the one i kept the longest. i started it in march 2004.. and i came across this entry.

brace yourself for laughter for you will surely laugh. =]
this list of analogies/similes/metaphors was provided by my ap english teacher my junior year. enjoy. these are REAL examples that he has come across during his career as an english teacher.

1. she grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

2. she had a deep, throaty, genuine laff, like that sound of a dog makes just before it throws up.

3. her vocabulary was as bad as, like wateverr.

4. the little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

5. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

6. the hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

7. her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

8. long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36pm, traveling at55mph, and the other from Topeka at 4:19pm at a speed of 35 mph.

9. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

10. He was as lame as a duck. not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. mabie from stepping on a land mine or sumthing.

11. the ballerina rose graceFully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

12. he was deeply in love. when she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truc bakkin up.

13. she walkked into my office like a centipeded with 98 missing legs.

14. it hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

15. her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

16. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

17. he spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind beause he looked at a solar eclipse withouth one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

18. he was as talL as a six-foot-three tree.

19. even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, that it had rusted shut.

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and this entry from 13 may 2004.
we had just finished the ap us exam and we didn't have anything else to do in class. our teacher had a tradition that each student would sit in the "hot seat" and the students can ask questions to get to know him/her better.

i eventually had to sit there and the questions i was asked were, "what is your family like?", "where do you see yourself in 20years?", and "what makes you laugh?".

here was my response (again.. i apologize for the odd spelling and random capitalization, which i still do in real life haha).

1. wats your family like?

__i have a mother, father, and a brother who's 15! wOw. he's old. haha....

2. where do you see yourseLf in 20 years?

__HMM. that means i'm.. 37. eww. i'm old too. i'll probably be a teacher of chemistry. mabie have adopted children. marital status.. i dunno. married? not married? widowed? who knoes? i just wanna teach.

3. wat makes you laff?

__giraffes. (are you laffin? cause my entire class was like "wat a weirdoooo")

lemee explain why they're funniee to me.

FIRST!__they've got purple tongues.

SECOND__they've got OBNOXIOUSLY long nekks.. that have like no purpose besides lOoking weiiird. hahaha. i'm keedin. it heLps them reach the leaves up at the top of the trees.. blahblahblah. i knoe. but it's still funnie.

THIRDLY__their little horns..? umm. wats up with that? do THEY serve a purpose? i mean it's not like they can ram into each other to fight for the female. they're not big enuff!

FOURTHLY__their skin color. is it used for camouFlage? cause i DON'T think it would heLp tOo much.

kay. that's all for now.