MiSURA

AF1 stands for "All For One" and this year's theme was "Grow Up?"

"14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by
the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning
and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15Instead, speaking the truth
in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is,
Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting
ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work."
--Ephesians 4:14-16

1. the right pursuit
2. the right perspective on the Heavenly Father
3. to be with the right people
4. the right passion(s)
5. to ask God for the purpose in our life
6. to learn how to persevere

all 6 are like... so applicable, right?! just reading the simple phrases you can kind assume what kind of message it would be.

one of the things that i'm thankful for is the right people. whether i'm @ school or back @ home. either way, i'm surrounded by Christians. at school i have 5 other fabulous girls who keep me accountable. @ home, i have church, andrea, and my family. P. Seth talked about the community of believers focusing on Acts 2 an I Peter 2:9-10. A COMMUNITY will... what? seek ways to live together harmoniously. it's a place where people can comfortably say, "I feel safe here. I feel welcome here. I feel LOVE here." I'm looking at the five basic traits of a biblical community and I pray that this will come true for Koinonia. it's such simple stuff. like love one another, minister to one another, get to know each other, care for others, and sacrifice for others. such simple commands, right? but sssooo complex as to how to really act upon it. but that's what i'm praying for. for opportunities to get to know each other, to take care of each other, etc. but that is my prayer. after all, koinonia stands for fellowship does it not? =)

now for some wonderful pics of my small group!~ they rock.

that spells OAK 3. for those of you who can't tell. ^ ^ ellen's also holding up a sign. haha. and the other pic is of our star ! b/c we're stars.... O___o;;



aww. good job. diligently working on their QTs. ^ ^



aren't they beautiful?! so are their hearts ! so are their tears. their encouragements. even their hugs. i wish i could be with them all the time. all of them need an older sister. even though two of them already have one. another one wouldn't hurt, right? =)

i wish i could share more in depth about them... but yea. y'know.

the praise was just awesome. here's a clip that i took from the closing worship.

my prayer is that every word that they sang/shout/screamed/prayed would be a declaration of the truth when they return home. many if not all are afraid of falling even within the same day when they return back home. i fear for them, also. BUT. we aren't running this race alone, are we? we're running it together. we'll help each other get back up. instead of thinking about ourselves and wanting to selfishly claim the prize, we can all claim the prize together.

Jesus is greater than Santa.... for the following reasons. ^ ^

santa lies @ the north pole
JESUS is everywhere

santa rides in a sleigh
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water

santa comes but once a year
JESUS is an ever present help

santa fills your stockings with goodies
JESUS supplies all your needs

santa comes down your chimney uninvitd
JESUS stands at your door and knocks, and then enters your heart when invited

you have to wait in line to see santa
JESUS is as close as the mention of His name

santa lets you sit on his lap
JESUS lets you rest in His arms

santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is, "Hi little boy or girl, what's your name?"
JESUS knew your name before you did
not only does He know your name,
He knows your address too.
He knows your history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on your head

santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly
JESUS has a heart full of love

all santa can offer is HO HO HO
JESUS offers Health, Help, and Hope

santa says, "You better not cry."
JESUS says, "Case all your cares on me for I care for you."

santa's little helpers make toys.
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions

santa may make you chuckle but,
JESUS gives you joy that is your strength

while santa puts gifts under your tree
JESUS became our gift and died on a tree.
Yes, from sin He set us freeeeee


Merry Christmas everyone. =)

Familiar faces. it is so good to be home. in my comfortable bed. in the warmth of my family. hugs @ church. it still really is so different from case. funny how i used to compare case to chicago, now i'm doing the opposite. i was sitting with the youth group kids after service was over, and i wanted so badly just to break out in song and i wanted my suitemates there with me so we could all jam together. it sure is different being in the same living environment as your peers rather than just seeing them once or twice every week.

there's still a part of me that feels weird... but i think i know exactly why now.

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today @ church was really good, too. i even received a present from catherine ! haha. that's because we went shopping for each other together @ woodfield mall ! haha. what did we get for each other? a cross necklace. i've always wanted one. we went to almost every jewelry store to look for the perfect one and we were wondering why they were so expensive ! DUH... they had real diamonds. hahahaha silly us. ours doens't even have any diamonds.. not even the cubic zirconia stuff. haha. but it was the perfect find @ the last minute. yay!

as i was shopping and waiting for catherine to arrive, though, i noticed that everyone was shopping for someone. sometimes that someone was with them, in the case of couples buying a ring, earrings, necklace, etc for each other. or mother/daughter, father/son couples going into electronic stores, other expensive stores. and then i felt bad that i don't really get gifts for anyone. if you've ever received a gift from me.. you must've been REALLY special. haha. but seriously. i've only gotten gifts for people if some extraordinary event happened between us, if i wanted to congratulate you on something, if you made a huge impact on my life, etc. but again. only if it was a huuuuuuuge deal. other than that.. i guess i just don't show love through gifts. tough. i hope my husband understands. =)

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yesterday was also the college group xmas party. look what i ended up with ! it's a pretty jewelry box. last night reminded me of how a body of Christ works. each person had a role. there was someone who brought a dish for potluck. someone to take care of the games time. a few people who were cleaning up and throwing away trash. and all of this.. voluntary.

later last night i also watched ocean's 11. another reminder how each person has a specific role ! haha, what a perfect example. seriously. imagine what they would've done without matt damon's character (whatever his name was). who would they have picked on as the noob? what about livingston to take care of the eyes & ears of the operation? how about saul. hhahaha "zerga". awesome name. and def. the two guys who played almost every single annoying role. always side by side, used as diversions for lots of things. haha how would the robbery go down w/o them. we all have a role and purpose no matter where we are. maybe we're the one who cracks the jokes. or the one who talks to the person who feels lonely. or the one who cleans up after an event. maybe we like to get there earlier and help set up and make dinner. even if all you do is laugh and participate, that's great, too. =) can't have everyone working and no one to enjoy it with. ^ ^

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yay for new mp3 player, too. yay. no more of 25 min. of playtime on the iriver and then having it shut down on me while it gains new energy for approx. 30 minutes only to play another 25 minutes. haha. the new one looks like a phone. it's just missing the #s. haha. but only 2 gb. -____-;; oh well. guess i just gotta start making good playlists and learn to be more selective.

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i wanna tell you a story.


this has to do with the story of Jesus. HISstory.

one night a bright star led three wise men to a manger. they brought gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh to Jesus. He grew up as a carpenter and later became a fisher of men. He had 12 disciples and they spread the word of God. But one dark day of envy, hate, and death, Jesus was put to the death on the cross and He bled for our sins to purify us. Through this, peace was brought upon the land. Now Jesus is with God and the Holy Spirit and He did this all because of his love for us.

by ludacris ft. mary j. blige




first of all.. is the third girl the same girl from akeelah & the bee? curious question.
second of all.. mary j. blige is amazing. i love her style of singing how she just lets her heart sing rather than trying to match the music, or to sound like a diva, whatever. i can just feel what she's feeling as she's singing. that's music @ another level.

there is no personal reason as to why i posted this. but there are girls out there who feel this .. everyday. it's reality. maybe not the same reality that you and i encounter, but it is out there. the girl sitting next to you in math class, the girl you pass everyday in the library late @ night when you're studying. the girl who's @ the gym all the time trying to exercise off the stress. the girl who sits by herself during lunch because she has no friends.

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p.s. i'm doing better. ^ ^ i'm still nowhere done with the list, but i'm getting there. i'm doing better since i'm back @ home. i just needed time.

so it's the end. grades are finalized. schedule for next semester is set in stone. it's over. so let's reflect ! ^ ^ i can easily go thru the past posts and recap that way.. but what fun is that. i mite think of things that i didn't think of before.

first looking @ the beginning of the school year when koinonia opened with the luau.. that was awesome ! i had no clue what to expect from the upcoming semester regarding koinonia. i just wanted so many people to come and for God to change their lives so much ! i prayed silly prayers. haha. but i'm glad that God brought all these new freshmen and their open hearts. i'm overjoyed when i hear that they go to power groups consistently, that one kid has never missed a prayer meeting, that one girl always makes each birthday special.. i love it when they visit our suite and make lots of noise and jam/praise until the sun rises. sure, i can't get studying done, but i see what God is stirring in their hearts, and that, my friend, has far more value. and what have we accomplished besides growing, encouraging one another, and praising our hearts out? we compiled a CD !! the talents in koinonia just doesn't end. check out that album cover ! janiceahn.. absolutely incredible. not only does she have a bright wit and a fabulous alto voice, but she can design like no other ! the CD also features many great musicians in koinonia. and even the people who are speaking verses and passages have a voice perfect. how did thiis all happen so magically? only through God's provision. we ran into lots of difficulty, too. we obviously did not realize that it would take sucha long time to make! we also did not calculate that, gee... FINALS were right around the same time. so our mixing masters were working on this day & night. madddd props to them. =) thanks guys. 복 많이 받으실꺼에요! ^___^V

i can't stop praising God for his love for koinonia. and i love koinonia, too. =)

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now my suitemates. how incredible are they! hahaah omygoodness.
eunice, clara, joyce, hannah, and rachel.

monday nights.. i'll never forget that hour. i told you i'd miss you already. i don't think i'll find another group of girls like this one. i love coming back to my room b/c i have them to look forward to ! i call my little 9x10 room a home. i call my suite : 703 THE suite b/c it just is. ^ ^ Eunice - reserved but hilarious; Clara - the mommy. haha. Joyce - a little out of it sometimes, but always ready to listen when someone's hurting. Hannah - responsible and witty. always ready to pray for someone. =) Rachel - always fun and full of life.

they're all single, too. ~,^ but mistreat them and you'll answer to me.

i'm still under construction .. but i wanna talk about this real quick.
but before i go into that.. =) i'm home ! got home yesterday morning.. had lunch w/ my family and andrea, then i went to bed. around 1pm. and woke up this morning around 845am. ^ ^ that's a new all-record high. 20 hrs !!! harhar.

anyway, nothing to boast about. let's get to what the real point is.

i'm someone who likes to notice the details. but like most people, i'm still quite ignorant and oblivious to a lot around me. i started reading the textbook for bio215. i initially wanted to read it b/c i wanted to get a bio background for my undergraduate research (my research advisor is a biochemist). but since i'm not doing undergrad research next semester, i guess i would have no reason to read it, right? but i still wanted to, b/c how can i say no to knowledge? anyway. so i started reading up on the "chemistry of the cell" chapter 2. chapter 1 was pretty basic stuff like electron valences, the carbon atom, and a bit of intro ochem. so i was like... ah ! who cares ! and moved on. but i had to spend quite a bit of time on p.27 because it shows a picture of the "hierarchical nature of cellular structures and their assembly". and it's just a picture, but i sat there with my mouth wide open in awe of how complicated a simple cell is ! the tinest of tinest of things is so complicated ! WHY?! you probably don't wanna know about it but i'm gonna tell you anyway b/c maybe i'll read back on my posts and i forgot what the hierarchy was. ^ ^

level 1 : small organic molecules like glucose, amino acids, and nucleotides
level 2 : macromolecules like cellulose, proteins and DNA
level 3 : supramolecular structures like cell wall, membrane, chromosome
level 4 : organelles and other structures like chloroplast, mitochondrion, nucleus
level 5 : all of level 4 put together ! to make one whoppin cell.

and you know how i like pictures. and colors. so this pictures just had me hooked. now i'm past p.27, but i definitely did stop for a bit.

before dinner today, i watched the travel channel hoping to listen in on a episode of europe or something. but instead they talked about the federal reserve and how the new bill was created. wow. the labor, the hours, and how thousands of bills can easily be rejected ! and how top-secret it needs to be. haha the more secretive it is, the more i wanna know about it ! maybe i should quit and go into finance just so i can find out for myself exactly what the dimensions of the federal reserve in west point is. the exact chemical formula for the dye in the bills.

my daddy received godiva choclate and a christmas ornament from his travel agent. haha he's used the same travel agent for six straight years. i think he deserves a present too. ^ ^ but before i ate the chocolate.. i realized how careful the design on the chocolate was. i had to pause before i ate it. i don't think each chocolate is given special, personal care. but still. it's still a piece of art.

i'm an even more observant person, now. =)

i think that's one of the reasons why i like chemistry so much. kakakeke.

alright. that's enough for now. byebye !

1. full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.
2. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.

#1 i can relate to. i don't have a problem with having confidence in others. actually, the trustworthiness might be something that i have a problem with, but for the most part, i am comfortable with relying on others. i like encouraging others b/c i know that they have the knowledge, power, strength, motivation, talent, whatever to do what they're gonna do.

#2 is what i have a problem with. and i'm sure a lot of people do, too.
today, i spoke to my research advisor about my paper and next semester's goals. we talked a lot for a good half hour. and 25 min. out of the 30 i was crying. she basically told me that i had been very wishy washy about my committment to undergrad research. which is totally true. there were times when i was like, ohyea i'll come in.. but i totally forget to. either b/c i was sleeping or i was just too lazy. she asked if i was serious about this. if my grades were falling apart b/c of undergrad research. maybe i should take a break. etc. in the end, i decided not to do undergrad research for next semester and resume in the summer or even next year. but that's not why i cried.

i cried b/c i realized that i haven't the first clue as to what i'm doing here. am i really here to go into csi? am i supposed to be a prof? am i supposed to go into research? maybe i'll suddenly go to med school. i have no clue. who knows what my road is. and b/c of this uncertainty, i'm scared and i dunno what to do. and b/c i dunno what to do, i don't try my best. and b/c i don't try my best, i think i'm dumb and i lose confidence. there are other factors that contribute to my low self-esteem and low self-confidence... but majority of it is self-inflicted.

i always thought that i had confidence. i don't mind being silly sometimes, singing @ the top of my lungs, or approach a person who looks like they're having a crummy time. is that confidence? i think part of the reason why i'm doing so poorly in chemistry, is b/c i don't have confidence that i can learn all this material. sure i have interest, but interest just isn't enough. i always second guess myself instead of going w/ gut feeling or knowledge that i've accumulated last year. i wait around and have someone else point me in the direction. so in the end... i guess i really don't have confidence.

and i hate it.

i hate how i have to mess up every first semester ever since high school. it's either b/c of priorities toward other activities, a relationship, really tough courses, whatever. it's a horrible cycle of screwing up first semester and realizing it too late and having to wait until second semester to freakin' get my act together. i can't think of one first semester that was ever good. something always went wrong. obviously i have still not learned my lesson. i hate how i have to go home and hear about how much of a failure i am. i hate how every time i look @ my DPR, it will show my grades.. and i won't be smiling. i hate how i look back on this semester and realize how much time i wasted.........

i was in a state of denial until today. i laughed all the time to try and forget. i called people and told them how ridiculous final exams are and how ridiculously poorly i'm doing. but ... today denial was dispelled and the truth spilled out.

it's not about others believing in me. b/c i know others do.
it's about believing in myself. and believing that God will work wonders. i almost have like no strength to even pray for that. not b/c i feel unworthy, but b/c i dunno what i'd do if it didn't work out. but God does reward the persistent ones, doesn't He?

i hope this winter break isn't filled with tears. i'd hate for that to happen.

that's exactly what i feel. i just spent the last hour and a half washing the dishes, cleaning out my desk, throwing out all my labs and useless junk. all the paper that's lying around even in the drawers. cleaning up the floor w/ that swifter thingie. =) even though a vacuum cleaner would work best. i know that desk still looks messy.. but lemee tell you.. there was paper EVERYWHERE. inside that little drawer, under the keyboard, behind the monitor, hanging from the shelf, and all over under the desk, too. haha. ohmannn.. there were LOTS of times when i thought that i lost my protocol but it was just hiding under the keyboard. or when i lost the notecard that had a list of things to do. i found lots of things while i was cleaning. i found two dimes, 3 nickels, candy (i wonder how old that stuff is), lots of penssss (i was beginning to wonder where those all went), bobby pins, old tests that i wanted to bury.. etc. unfortunately, no hairties. SERIOUSLY. where do those things go?! and again, this picture may look messy, too. but the emphasis is ON THE FLOOR. look @ how almost nothing is on it ! hahaha. usually... i have bags laying everywhere. my umbrella & badminton racket. and if my jackets/coats hadn't fallen from the bed already, then they would be on the floor too. sometimes, my jeans and other clothes are sticking out of that tub or from the closet. the bookshelf needs some work. buuut i can work on that later. =)

i'm gonna study my butt off for the pchem test. but only after i play tomorrow and have some chipotle on sat. night, too. x)

eeek! it's almost over.

i was supposed to wake up @ 7am for my 830am today.

guess what time i woke up. yes, that's right. 840am. so i bolt outta bed, grab my glasses, change into jeans, grab my hat whose only purpose is to be worn when i haven't showered yet. and i ran outta my building. hurriedly called oppa and got a ride to my exam. i was so embarrassed, walking in almost half an hour late for the exam. and there weren't enough seats for all of us ! so i sat right outside the lecture hall and stared blankly @ the exam. i couldn't believe it. i read the second question 15 times. i even counted how many times i read it. maybe that's why i didn't understand it. anyhow. i ended the exam in less than an hour b/c the exam is all short answer. so you either know it.. or you don't. and i obviously didn't. BUT i did pass/fail the class, so i'm pretty sure i'm not gonna fail even though i will fail this exam.

this is what i feel :
i feel like a huuuge babooo. a giant dummy. and a failure. not only do i totally NOT care about the class, but even in my other classes i'm just completely indifferent. this must be some sort of disorder. like "gradually losing interest in learning syndrome". is there a name for this? but the things is.. i'm still very very interested in learning ! just not in evolution and physical chemistry. and what's difficult for me is.. that the grades don't correspond directly to my interest. =(


so now i'm back in my room. waiting for my suitemate to get out of the shower. look @ what oppa made me, too. cute, right? ALMOST like a 코스모스 (cosmos). i feel better. and even more better b/c of sushi tonight ! wheee =) and i need to write up the draft to my research paper. i'll show you what it looks like just so you can be like, what the freak are you talking about. kekeke. xP b/c i'd be saying that, too ! what a coincidence. harhar. just kidding. i'd know what i'm talking about. silly kids.

okay my suitemate is outta the shower now. time to rub a dub dub.



and here are some more photos that i did last night. =)

i was going through my pictures from this past summer.... and decided to photoshop around. ^ ^
click on the pictures for a bigger size. and there's a "고구마 (gogoomah)" @ the bottom right hand corner b/c that's gonna be my signature... for the moment, at least. i'm not sure what my signature will be. haha i think gogoomah is more of a nickname than a signature. so i'll come up w/ a better one by next time. enjoy! the flowers are from padua, italy. and the other two are from the louvre area.










=) back to work for me!

the road is difficult and rocky.
i'll get bloodied; i'll cry
i'll fall and crawl
i'll claw my way thru the thorns
but i dunno what's on the other side
would it be better than what i'm trying to leave?
what's the point...

i've been completely exhausted of everything i have this semester. i dunno how much i got left. i'm running on empty. it's like trying to run separate races back to back. and i'm running lots of races back to back. i dunno how everyone else does it. maybe they're all struggling as much as i am. i just wanna fall and give up. maybe i should've just gone to u of i? maybe i should've been a music major. so many questions.................

and i feel like i'm not good enough for anything or anyone. and it's so hard b/c that darned book, captivating tells me otherwise. and i know God's speaking to me through that book. and as much as i wanna deny it.. i can't. i really am worth something, right? of course. then why is it so hard to believe.

why am i being like this?! i'm done. i just wanna go home. away from this all. but not home chicago home, either. somewhere else. and start a new home. where no one knows me.

=)
don't worry about me.

just finished watching "stairway to heaven (천국의 계단)" the korean drama series w/ kwon sang woo (권상우) and choi ji woo (최지우). the only thing i got out of that drama series is how much people cry. oh and a person will go crazy if she tries to plot a marriage between her daughter and the son of a major corporation. and how actors really can't play the piano. and there are lots of cute shoes in korea. ^ ^

anyway. i ended up skipping through a lot of the drama b/c i was bored. so if one episode were like an hour.. i finished it in half an hour. skipped thru all the flashbacks, crying, running across the beach, driving really fast while thinking, all those parts. you korean drama fans are probably shaking your heads b/c i shouldn't have skipped those parts b/c they're soo.... essential, right? well HAR HAR, they're not. they're pointless and fillers. i think this series could've been done in like 10 episodes. i was like, AHHH is it over yet?! WHAT they break up AGAIN? now they're back together. 2 episodes later, o look. they're broken up again. but i guess in real life that happens, too. people break up and get back together. but there's misunderstanding, a change of heart, and people break up again. it happens. i know. i know. but i'm sure my sappy romantic side will soon snap in and i'll reflect on this drama series more. especially the phrase "stairway to heaven".

but for now........girls' night w/ koinonia @ liz's house is tonight. lots of pictures to be in store, FOR SURRRE =D b/c girls don't care how many pictures you take and what you take a pic of. keke. so i'll be going crazzzy. bye!

to consider someone as a "potential" without actually liking him?

hahaha. y'all are probably way too confused. and i just said y'all. >___>;; something is polluting my brian & lips. i blame it on.. you. yes. you. anyway. is it possible? that's wat i've been thinking for.. quite a while, now. i don't have romantic thoughts about him. i don't fantasize about how we met and how our wedding day is gonna be. haha. that's for guys that are totally outta my league like.. 권상우. ohman. keke. but i dunno. just wanted to throw that question out there.



in other news : it's snowing ! a lot ! and i love love love love love it.
sure, it's freezing, but who cares?! all the more reason to cozy up w/ your friends or that special someone. ~,^ i love winter clothes, too. getting to bundle up w/ the scarf, mittens, hoodies, coats, boots, knee length socks, leggings, sweaters, earmuffs, headbands, anything goes ! put 'em ALL on. and it's okay. ^ ^ LAYER TO THE MAX. my hair's super long, now, too. it's awesome. ^ ^

finals are just around the corner. here we go.

home is so close. and by that, i mean my bed. HARHAR. just keeding. i meant my family, and my close ones. =)

lemee get serious again.

i feel.. like when i go home i'm in a cage. not b/c of my parents or anything. but b/c of other people. maybe i'm being too self-conscious. but i feel like i need to act different. here @ case, i'm totally myself. sure i need to be a bit more extroverted than usual so that we can lure the freshmen in.. muhehhee but i feel like i can be silly. like today in badminton, the only people i know in that class are tim & clara. besides them.. i dunno anyone else. that's at least 20 people. now the normal bokeumee wouldn't make kung fu noises and act like a monkey. but i have done that in the past in classes. and today my pants were really thick and making me hot, so i rolled 'em up my leg and i looked ridiculous. like i had tire wheels stuck in my legs. but i really didn't care. when i walk to class i used to sing along w/ my iriver. but now that it's acting retarded i don't do that. but i still hum along to my own tune. i bet when i go up in the elevator to my floor people hear me singing. kaka. when i'm @ koinonia, i don't hafta be afraid to tell my fellow christian brothers & sisters what i'm struggling w/. of course i need to use discretion when it comes to guys & girls, but i know that they'll accept me no matter what i've done. w/ my suitemates, we're real. r e a l. but i don't feel like that when i'm @ home. why is that? i've known these people for 5years. ohwait. stop. do i really know 'em? guess not. there. problem solved. i never got to know them in the first place. and i supposed that's my fault, right? =( yeea. haha, so here i am complaining about how i don't feel like i'm @ home @ home.. and it's my fault all along. haha. hope you didnt read all that. if you did.. suckers. xP anyway. the other quesiton now is.. how do i deal w/ this. i really shoudln't care about how i've changed.. or maybe i haven't changed and case just exposed something hidden w/in me. as much as i don't wanna shelter this side of me.. i have this pang in my heart that says that i need to. b/c it didn't help me fit in in the first place. i never felt welcome. but it's my fault, definitely. i was never good @ keeping in touch. i always needed work in that area. man, i need help loving others. ssssssssssssooo selfish. >_>;; just like i say i love love love snow.. i can say that i love love love people, too, right? =)

i dunno how long this post will be up. or at least the second half. we'll see. ^ ^

Reading this article makes me wanna be left-handed.
i always knew they were "different" and "special". see like when it comes to sports, they can be like ambidextrious and play with both their feet, or in tennis they can switch hands instead of playing backhand, etc. but then i read this article, written almost two years ago, and i think, "whew. glad i'm a rightie." haha, the point is not that left-handed people are better or vice versa. it means that i'm glad that i'm the way i am.

a topic that comes up every now and then is extreme makeover. not the home edition but the liposuction, breast-enhancing, chin chiseling, and nose chopping extreme makeover. sounds harsh, but that's pretty much what it is. on the external level. but these people have deep wounds that they need fixed and the only way for them is to work from the outside in. there are those that are struggling to find a job b/c of their appearance. some have encountered accidents that have scarred them horribly. these people have had those horror stories from high school and college of loneliness, abandonment, isolation, etc. look around, don't you see those people now, too? it's all about self-esteem. some of these people look fine, maybe their nose is a little off balance. maybe their thighs are too wide. maybe their hair is a little too crazy and untameable. the point is, they're not mutated or monsters. these people have true feelings just like you and i do. i'm not saying it's our faults that they're not incredibly gorgeous (and fake, might i add), but we are contributing to their deteriorating self-esteems. i see those people especially @ case b/c people (even from outside of case) discuss how case has ugly girls and guys. how there's no one to really date b/c we're all nerds and don't care about how we look. that's fine and all b/c i think these students are super bright and kind people. but when we purposely avoid them, not embrace them, and leave them in their room to stay by themselves all day and night and weekend.. then it's our fault. it's my fault. whenever i do get a chance to work on a project with them, ask a homework question, i try not to hesitate just b/c of the way that they look, smell, dress, whatever. i would hate it if someone did that to me. it's not my fault that my nose is super flat and has no definite shape. it's not my fault that my eyes don't have double eyelids. not my fault that i can't afford $100+ boots and $60 jeans.

whenever i do watch an episode of this show, though, i just pray that these people's lives will be changed. that whatever they went through was genuine and that their hurt will be solaced. sure, it's kinda weird to find solace in such things as cosmetic surgery and rhinoplasty, but if it works, then i hope it works out. for the time being though, pray for eyes to see the inner beauty in people. that's my prayer, too. i hate it when that happens to my friends.. while i'm with them. it happened last night, too. i was with a friend, and she may not be drop dead gorgeous, but it was totally wrong for my other friends to stare @ her up and down as if she didn't belong b/c of what she was wearing. i just wanted to scratch their faces and show them that they're not any better. =,=^ okay, harsh again. but it got me really angry.

so anyway. after.. venting a bit. let's move on.
i didn't get evaluated today. guess no one signed up to take a tour today. good thing. the weather kinda sucks. it's that kind of weather where it's not cold enough to totally bundle up and wear 128393 layers. but it's not warm enough to just wear a coat. it's like i need to wear what i would when it's freezing, but then take it off halfway to class b/c then it gets hot. haha, i dunno what i'm saying. moving on yet again.

my exam was really stupid today. sssooo stupid that i just wanna jump off a cliff.

i got some coloring pages ! so our suite will be decorated with my amazing, super coloring skills. =)

take some pictures laterrr. byebye ~

Dec. 12 - math223
Dec. 14 - evolution (i dunno if i still take the final even though i'm pass/failing it. i think i still do)
Dec. 18th - physical chemistry

thank you kelvin smith library for being open 24hours a day, 7 days a week. =) i will be camping out there. don't look for me in my room. this is my home for the next 2 weeks.

going home on the 19th. i think some time in the morning. anyone gimme a ride? x) thanksss.

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Ecclesiastes 11:5

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot unerstand the work of God, the Maker of all things.

who cares if i fail all of 'em. who knows, i might end up getting C's in my classes. maybe i won't, maybe i will. but whatever happens.. God's in control of everything. i gotta trust Him b/c i have no control over my life. knowing that He's in control gives me peace.. sometimes. ~,^ seems foolish.. but that's what you gotta be sometimes. foolish. i am foolish. crazy and foolish. taking risks left and right. actually, i'm not much of a risk-taker. i'm too careful.

but i don't wanna be. why live life so carefully and in a box.

to laugh is to risk appearing the fool; to weep is to risk being called sentimental
to reach out to another is to risk involvement; to expose feelings is to risk showing your true self
to place ideas and your dreams before the crowd is to risk being called naĭve
to love is to risk not being loved in return; to live is to risk dying
to hope is to risk despair; to try is to risk failure
but risk must be taken, because the greatest risk of life is to risk nothing

the person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing

he may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love
chained by his attitude, he is a slave; he has fortified his freedom
only the person who risks is truly free
--janet rand

i don't wanna be stupid, but i wanna be foolish knowing that God's got my back every step of the way. =) what have i got to lose, right? do it all for Him. in the end, He gets what He's been planning all along. haha. sometimes, i just wanna sit and be like, "alright God. do what You want." but it's not like that at all. b/c if i'm like that.. completely lazy, then how do i know what God wants to do w/ me until i start doing something, and He closes doors? or opens new opportunities? i'll never know until i pray about it, act upon it, and seek his wisdom. don't be a veggie. ^ ^ i'm gonna be a risk-taker. that's something different i'm gonna this new semester. don't be scared to talk to this person. don't be scared to give that person a hug. to pray for this friend. to call someone up you haven't spoken w/ in over a year. to go on the scariest roller coaster everrrr. to go really fast on the highway. haha. to act silly, to laugh hilariously, to be the first to start dancing on the dance floor, to wear something outrageously not matching... i dunno. i'm just being random w/ these examples. but you get the idea.

who thinks i'm too careful? not spontaneous enough? hahaha.. y'all raised your hands, i know. =) it's okay.

in other news : tomorrow i'm being evaluated to be a tour guide. and it's gonna be CRAP weather tomorrow. crapcrapcrap. ssoo i hope i don't slip & fall. or worse, fail this evaluation. >,<

that's all. study hard, kids. don't stress too hard. He's got it under control.

seriously. as soon as the recordings are mixed & mastered.. i'll let you listen in. =) this was my dress for the evening. our concert was this past thurs. i'll have some songs for you to listen in on later so you can gauge just how awesome case in point is. x) we got up on stage and just sang with all we had. i can't wait for the semesters to come in the future! with new members, new songs, yea. it's gonna be great. =) i don't remember exactly the order of the concert, but i do remember all nevertheless.

1. gnarles barkley - crazy
2. frou frou - let go
3. counting crows - accidentally in love
4. shai - if i ever fall in love again
5. craig david - walking away
6. evanescence - my immortal
7. britney spears - my only wish (this year)
8. michael jackson - man in the mirror
9. imogen heap - hide & seek
10. john mayer - wonderland

i even arranged two of the songs ! hhahah totally amateurish though, man. i have so much to improve on. i'm not much of a composer, i guess. i don't have the brains like mozart & beethoven. i can't imagine the voices singing and trying to figure out which syllables are the best. but. what i do have is what i have. i'm currently working on three songs for next semester. i hope they work out well. =T eeeek !

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FOOD NOT BOMBS

This organization is amazing. A few of the leaders in Koinonia including myself went to help participate with this organization yesterday in downtown Cleveland. The organization in Cleveland gets together at this local, but small, grocery store and cook unwanted vegetables, bread, whatever and make lots of food out of it ! Yesterday, there were fruit salad, tofu sandwiches, stir fry w/ chicken (i think), yam & sweet potato (gogoomah!), spinach pies, bean & veggie wraps, vegetable soup & crackers, salad, coffee, water, etc etc. right next to public square (where we distributed the food) is Tower City where there's a mall, food court, movie theatre, etc. and the auntie anne's pretzels gives their leftover pretzels of the day to us so we can give to the people !!! i thought that was the coolest thing. i sohuld've taken my camera b/c downtown cleveland is so pretty during this time of year ! but i'm sure every city's like that. but yeeea. i never really saw downtown chicago during holidays. or any giant city come to think of it. but anyway. so i have crappy photos from my phone, but o well. deal w/ it. ^ ^ we were all freezing our tushies off but everyone who came got food and anything they wanted. some took like 3 wraps. some only wanted the pretzels. it's free for all and for everyone. we even brought over the produce that wasn't used for the food and out in the open for people to take. even though it seems liek all their food is vegetarian.. hey, that's good, isn't it? =) the point is, i felt the same joy that i felt when i helped out with soup kitchens back in youth group. i wonder if calvary youth group still does that. anyway. it's a little different b/c you're not personally giving their meal to them... but you do get to interact w/ them b/c you're standing outside and they can't wander off w/ the food b/c we need the plates, cups, bowls, etc back since they're not plastic or styrofoam. some of the people were like, "Where are the regulars today?" And i was like, dang. some people come every sunday???! that's some committment. but yes. they do this every sunday. even when it's only 20 degrees outside and some forgot their gloves or mittens. i'm so happy that i got to serve this community. this is practically my home now. i live here 8 months out of the year and if i stay for the summer it'll be like 10 months out of the year. how can i live here w/o helping the ones who need help. that's a long enough explanation about yesterday. ^ ^

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but now... what about TODAY?!?!?!? =O

THE SNOOOOOWWW

had quite the wild snowball fight yesterday. i got knocked around... i dunno 4 times? but i knocked some people down, too. muhahaha. too bad my mittens are not ideal for packing snow. it takes me like 10 minutes to pack a good snowball. simply unacceptable. hahah who cares about snowballs anyway. just run and pick up the person and slam down. =) but preferably not head first since that's what happened to me. i think some brain cells got knocked around in the process. anyhow. it was fun. slept @ 430am. hahahaha. buuut it's all good. i went to class today, minus pchem.

keke. look. the snowman fell down. muhaha.

i haven't been random in a while, right? so let's do that now.

1. if you like tshirts with stuff on it.. like graphics, here's the online store for you. threadless.com has lots of cool stuff. i'm thinking of purchasing some.. but since the shipping's $5.75.. i gotta buy at least 4 tshirts to make it worth the $$, right? so gather your friends and buy a whole bunch @ once and just make sure to pay the person back. =)
2. this morning we sang in one of the engineering buildings where einstein bros. bagels is.. where the computer lab is.. etcetc. and there are lots of nice couches that people fall asleep on. and tables where people like to hang and/or study. case in point gathered up the guts and we sang a song ! to advertise, of course. =) our concert's tonight and i'm freakin` excited. we just sang one song but it was awesommmme. i think people really enjoyed it and i hope that they come tonight anticipating more. ^ ^ it was the first time i've ever done anything like that. just randomly getting up and singing together. of course we planned it earlier, but others had NO idea that it was going on. i think it was a nice break for those who were studying. and for those who were sleeping, o well. too bad. maybe it was time to get up and go to class.
3. i like pushing myself. but then i get scared. this saturday.. i'm gonna be recording from 8am-5pm straight. i'll have a short amount of time for lunch, the bathroom, and whatever else. but i'll pretty much be in the same building foreverrr. why will i be in there? b/c i'm a dummy and took on all the piano accompanying jobs. i dunno whyy i didn't distribute. but yea. i did it.. but i knew that i could get the job done, too. and even though i'm glad that i'm doing this for koinonia and the cd... i'm scared b/c i'm afraid that i'm gonna lose it around 2pm and start freakin' people out. that's no good. sooo yea. gotta work on only handling what i can handle. maybe a LITTLE bit past the limit is okay. but not ssooo far.
4. i didn't get paid the $90 i worked that one saturday for tour guide. laaaaaaaame. i was waiting for that $$ so i can pay my dues for AXE.
5. aimexpress is pretty handy dandy when i'm in the lab and i can't log onto the actual aim. BUT, gchat is even better. everyone get gmail and get gchat. if you need an invite for gmail.. lemee know. i have a LOT of invites left to give out. and even when i give 'em all out.. gmail gives me more to give out. i wonder if gmail invite will count as a xmas present. ha! only kidding.
6. why does a guy who admits that he's feeling "emo" suddenly a fag? and why is that word being thrown around a lot? that's not very nice.
7. i wanna learn how to cook. i like it when people like what i do for them. and what better way than cooking, right? perfect for a girl. that should become one of my expertise after all. i wanna be AWESOME like the people on the food channel. i wanna WOW my friends, future family, and whoever else eats my food. i think pastry would be the most interesting part. maybe it's b/c i watched "my name is kim sam soon" over the summer and all of her creations looked absolutely scrumptious! but yea. i think it'd be neat to design my own wedding cake. and then make it. haha.
8. Queen Esther (from the book of Esther in the Bible) is freakin' cool. she.......... is the most daring person ever. to accuse one of the king's closest guys of persecuting her people?! CRAZZZYYYYY woman. and enternig the king's presence w/o being called?! she could've been killed ! she isn't hasty. she waits to have the king & haman come to another banquet and another before she presents her requests. she also isn't proud to ask for help. she asks mordecai to fast w/ her, also before she enters the king's presence. we're studying the book of Esther in small group.. and yea. esther, the name has a whole new meaning to me. sure, i read it when i was younger. but i don't rememebr every detail and i certainly don't remember ever thinking that esther was THIS cool. ^ ^
9. that's about it for now. maybe later on when i'm in lab, i'll write some more.

till then... study for finals ! =X AHHHHHH...

Lord, touch me, oh Lord touch me (x2)
Lord, touch me with the gentlest of touches (x2)

This is the desire of my heart (x4)

Lord, move me, oh Lord move me (x2)
Lord, move me, like the water in the seas (x2)

This is my cry to You (x4)

Lord, heal me, oh Lord heal me (x2)
Lord, change me, from the inside out (x2)

This is my lifelong prayer
Lord hear my lifelong prayer
Oh how I cry out to You
My aching heart cries out

Lord touch me, oh Lord move me
Lord heal me, oh Lord change me

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this song was written today. it will also be on the koinonia cd. so you'll get to hear it forreal eventually. =) after the prayer meeting today... this is what i wanted. i just wanted to bawl my eyes out and scream out to the Lord. ask him to help me. after reading ch. 6 in Captivating.. this was truly my prayer for the night. and tonite. and it will be every night. this song's actually melancholy. or it sounds melancholy. sounds very very very sad. you'll see what i mean.

i'm super busy. i'm tired. i'm exhausted. but i need to press on.

Please pray for me ! I couldn't register for the forensic science that i was DYING to take. but i emailed the prof. last night stating why i want to take this course. please pray that he grants me an override. i really need and want this class. this could determine whether or not forensic science is really the way to go.

and thank you eric for the comment about happy feet not being disney. haha. i just assumed it was. myyy baaad.

whoever's already seen this movie.. i guess you can or cannot read the next few paragraphs. up to you. basically, this is the cutest movie ever. and i like how disney's animated stuff has singing & dancing again ! that's one of the main reasons why i liked disney stuff, then they suddenly stopped w/ the singing & dancing for a while, but now it's back ! i mean no offense to "the incredibles", "a bug's life", etc, they were all great and all, but i just missed the music. ^ ^ happy feet was really good for a couple reasons. 1. it's so cute. that's that. haha enough said. 2. it's not just cuteness and penguins dancing. it actually speaks a message. [gasp] and here's the message that i drew from it -- don't be afraid of new changes. basically, the story is, mumble's (the main character) family and kind find their mate by singing to one another. but b/c of problems during early development, mumble was not gifted with the talent of a singing voice. instead, he had dancing feet. the elders did not like this at all b/c this was going against tradition and uprooting their ancestors. but in the end.. the dancing is not a bad thing. it doesn't harm anyone. it actually ends up helping every single penguin. =) kinda reminds me of the musical, "footloose". anyway. how does it apply to me? i'm not sure if it does... but sometimes i'm afraid of changing for the better. especially if i don't know if it's good for me or not. but sometimes you just gotta do it. 3. the dancing ! i never knew tap dancing could be so entertaining to watch. maybe it was b/c it was penguins rather than people.. but it was amazing. and notice how on the cover it says "may cause toe-tapping"? hahaha. you bet that i was totally tapping my foot. actually i wanted to stand up and dance along w/ them. such fun music, dancing, and the animation was incredible. this movie's going in my top10. and i don't even think that penguins are that cute. xP OH, and can brittany murphy sing or what. dang. i hear she's getting into a singing career. i reeeally liked her voice in this movie. nicole kidman was okay. and hugh jackman surprised me by far. here's a song that brittany murphy sings kinda towards the end about finding her soulmate. song's called "boogie wonderland".

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www.engrish.com is sssooo funny. click on the link that says "engrish from other countries". those are especially funny b/c it's astounding how often you see typos on signs from asia especially. you'd think someone would've corrected them. hahahahhaa x)

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here are some youtube videos to watch if you're bored. x)

this is an a capella rendition of "cry me a river" by justin timberlake. preeeeeetty dang good.

yes it's 11:11am and i am not at church. b/c... i don't have a ride. =( this is the first time this has ever happened. i'm so sad..... i had a lesson all planned out, i needed to get my phone charger and my flash driverr... O__O;;

let's talk about how this semester's pretty much over and how much i'm screwed. orrr let's not. >,<>
this post's getting long enough. i'm out. bye !

this is... the first thanksgiving i've ever spent with another family.
and even though i'm sad that i didn't spent it with my own family.. i got a taste of what thanksgiving is like in another family. susie's family.. is so much fun. amazing food and the company was even greater. i was so welcomed and i fit right in. well not RIGHT in like a puzzle piece, but i wasn't outcasted just b/c i wasn't family. we played some mario party 7 on game cube. haha. good times. but it was great just seeing families coming together, babies poppin' (hehe), and different ethnic backgrounds all together celebrating in the name of Christ. it's so good. i hope my family can be like that one day. 10 years from now.. i wanna be able to get together with my family, my brother's family (or girlfriend), my parents, my husband's parents, perhaps even their kids.. and their kids.. and AHH just everyone ! all under one roof. no bickering. no hate. no grudges. just l o v e .

speaking of love, i just watched love actually. [siiigh] great movie. whenever i'm sad.. that's where you go. haha. or elf. now that's another great movie, too. i watched waaayyy too much tv this past weekend. but who cares ! =) i got to relax. and sleep... AND SHOPPPP =) yeayuh. Guess what I got....... psh i'm not gonna tell you. haha. but basically, i got some pretty good deals. but i still have lots more to shop for when i go back home. for like sweaters and such. b/c apparently i left mine all back @ home. laaaame.

i've gotta clean up my room now... >,<>

THANK GOODNESS ! =D it's time for a break. although i have been on break for.. a while now. hehe. seriously. check out that weather. could it be any more perfect?! this is what i'm doing over break............ AH i'll tell you later. xP i dunno if eveyrone will follow plan anyway. ssooo i don't wanna say that i'm gonna do something and end up not doing it. here is something new, though. i suddenly got into jazz & samba. probably b/c last sunday i heard some songs by lisa ono and i'm like.. wow, i didn't know i liked this stuff. but she's more bossa nova style. and this song here's definitely jazz. John Pizzarelli - I Got Rhythm. crazy piano stuff.. DANG. why didn't i ever learn jazz? O_o;; my suite is seriously amazing. i am so thankful for these girls. we get together every monday @ 8pm to just talk. to relax.. unwind.. complain.. pray.. eat.. everything. ^ ^ they're examples of perseverence, courage, encouragement, faithfulness, and love. sure, there are times when we're crabby and don't wanna talk to people, angry and wanna shut everyone out, pooped from the day and forget to send out emails or attend meetings.... but the most important thing is that when we do need each other.. someone's there. we're there to hold out a hand to pick 'em up. to give m&m's.. a little bit of sugar to start your day. haha. a verse that will uplift our day. a hug to let us know we're loved. i'm so blessed ! AHHH =) that's all for now.

have a great thanksgiving break. (i think i've said that too many times now. that just goes to show how often i post..)

Want to share a bit of something that close friends have shared with me about working.

• We were put on this earth for working. Just like Adam was placed in the Garden to till it and work it. To name the animals. And even when he was banished from the Garden, he was still required to labor for his works. Even though they will all be worth nothing and he will return to dust as he came from. BUT the point is that we have a purpose. Adam was not created "just because". His purpose was to tend to the Garden.
• What we do produces good fruit. Quite a contrast from Genesis in the Old Testament, but Jesus preaches that if we remain in Him, then we can produce good fruit through him.

I know I dont' have the best work ethic. You can often catch me sleeping, chatting, watching csi, playing sudoku online, etc. Sooooo yea. I'm not one of those crazy kids who can start studying right after classes. Someitmes I don't even go to class ! So when I begin studying? But this is supposed to be the lifestyle for a student. This is my occupation. You know, when you do those online profiles and stuff, they ask you for your occupation, and STUDENT is one of them ! I've still got so much more to learn. I hate how it takes forever. >,<

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I took my two exams today.. yea. watever. At least they're over.. and I can relax this weekend. Clean up my room, reorganize my closet, and maybe go shopping ! I just wish I got paid for this past Saturday already. >,<>laaame.

Hehe. That's me sporting my lovely scarfs that I got in paris. of course i'm using them as headbands b/c they're kinda wide and a bit short to be a scarf. and it's not exactly the season for thin scarves. but it's always the season for headbands ! =D i'm gonna wear one like every other day or something. starting... yesterday.

What am I gonna do over break? Gonna go over to Susie's house! That's for sure. xD That's Wed-Friday. The I'm gonna come back to campus.. and clean up like i said. i wanna get some reading in for evolution. But we'll see about that.. =P Hopefully get fed by the lovely seniors who are also staying.. ~,^ Otherwise.. i'll starve ! That's it for tonight. Have a lovely thanksgiving break. i really do miss home.. T_T

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done with I and II Thessalonians.. and time to tackle a book in the Old Testament : the Book of Daniel. I think I only chose this b/c two of my suitemates are doing the "Daniel Fast". Basically, for 21 days you eat only fruits and vegetables. Let me tell you.. they struggled. A lot. even in like the first couple days they were struggling. But now they only have 2 days to go and then they're done ! And then they can eat all they want on Thanksgiving. =) Anyway. So b/c of what they're doing, I wanted to read this book.

Alright. I need y'all input and opinions again. Today I did the whole twisting your hair and pinning it up thing, and it came out like this. hopefully over winter break i can get my hair done this way, too. is it called a setting perm? wave perm? watever it's called. I want it done just like this. if i can do it on my own, i can certainly get it done in a hair salon..... right? i don't want no 꼬불꼬불 curls or even waves starting from the very top of my head. i want it like 1/4 down and then the rest wavy. i think it'll be pretty neat. wouldn't hurt, right? =) What do YOU think?

what a fast week ! i cannot believe how fast it went. i dunno it's b/c i was actually freakin' productive and went to class instead of sleeping all day. -,-^

today was an interesting day in research. so now i'm actually doing stuff.. instead of just distilling solutions and purifying resin. i was going to take pictures today so i could remember what goes where, what's for what, and which glass instruments to use.. stuff like that. i actually broke some things... like the end of a syringe, but not the pointy part. and i also broke the small brush used for washing and cleaning. aaaaaaahahahha. whoops. but good thing i didn't get yelled at. b/c i would've just cried. literally break down cry. i might've tried to keep it inside but it eventually would've spilled out. something i noticed while i'm in research is that i really like it. it's very repetitive and tedious to take all these precautions, distill everything, and test things just to make sure that it's all reacted.... BUT. i like seeing the final product and taking a long sigh knowing that i'm done and that i completed something. sadly, this is not a realistic view of research b/c most likely it would be a year long process in which there's lots of frustrations and modifying of procedure, nevertheless. it's cool. wanna see what i made today? kekekekekakakakak. basically i stringed five amino acids together: 1. glutamine 2. arginine 3. glycine 4. serine 5. cysteine. if you've ever done a peptide synthesis before, or taken ochem, or if you're just a genius.. then you know what i'm talking about. there's lots of things on an amino acid, like protecting groups, and other bulky groups to prevent the amino acid from reacting with other things. there's also other precautions like no water or air can enter the reaction vessel. blahblahblah. but basically after lots of washing, rinsing, and checking to see if all the amino acids coupled to each other.... success ! =) i dunno if i got 100% all reacted and coupled... but a good amount, like over 50%! and that's vewy good. pat on my back. =] i took impeccable notes, too. wanna know why? haha. b/c i didn't know we had to write a paper at the end of this course. HAHA. that's pretty obvious. i'm researching. shouldn't i write something about it? so yeeea. gotta get started on that sometime. but check out my drawings of the flasks. hahahah i'm such a loser. i was kinda bored. b/c there were only hour increments where stuff was happening and i had to wait. an hour isn't nearly enough to run to the computer lab and do something. so i took a few pictures like the ones above (w/ my cell phone, so they're obviously bad quality) and drew these things so i can remember what goes where and how these instruments work. haha and to the right those may seem like very lengthy procedures.. but those procedures literally explain every little thing i did. it's not a general procedure like weigh out blahblah, and react. it's like, walk over here, get this, meanwhile do this, then do this, make sure about this, first purge argon, then stop it, then purge again.. etcetc. haha it's sssoooo specific. no one's ever gonna read it. but i need it otherwise i'm gonna forget what i did. hey.. gotta go with wat you know best, right?

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alright. that was a random schpeel about cherry tomatoes. last night, i watched CATS. never watched a musical before. at least not in an actual theatre. b/c i went to go watch it.. i have another reason why i love case and why i like cleveland. haha note the diff. between loving case and liking cleveland. ~,^ anyway! i remember when this musical first came out and i saw advertisements for it on tv and i got scared. as much as i love cats.. seeing people dressed up as cats and parading around stage... not exactly the most appealing thing. but once i entered high school and realized how cool musicals are.. and actually got involved.. WOW. i'm not a crazy fanatic like some that i know, but i definitely do love it. if i only had the $$ to watch 'em all the time. we sat allll the way at the top. but it didn't matter ! i think we had the best seats after all. the indoors of Playhouse Square is omygoodness amazing. the pic that i have is quite blurry... BUT yea. you can tell how high up we were. the musical was wow, absolutely fabulous. and that famous song, "memory".. i've heard SO many versions of it. but this was by far the BEST. the last part when there's a key change and grizabella sings, "TOUCH ME, it's so EASY to LEAVE me.." etc etc.. this actress just belted it all out. before she was quiet and meek in her voice.. and suddenly.. she opened wide her lungs and i could totally feel her desperation in her voice, in her tremor.. OHMYGOODNESS. i was literally blown away from my seat. if i had that kind of impact so high up.. imagine how the people who were on the floor felt !!! i was not expecting such a fortissimo. ohmyohmygoodness !! i'm so happy. =)

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here's a fun song to download ! who knows the song.. lady from ipanema. yeayea? well here's an electronica version by humming urban stereo. they're a korean electronica group. i like their stuff. pretty relaxed and not too boppy but not too crazy, either. it's good stuff.

humming urban stereo - The Lady from Ipanema (Swimming Pool Mix) // download [here]

if you want the entire album, i actually have their first two albums. so lemee know if you want more of their stuff. ^ ^

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i've got two major exams on monday.

and tomorrow i'm also giving my first tour ! AHHH. =] i gotta go to bed now so i can rest up and be excited tomorrow! ohyeeeeeeeeeea