MiSURA

Here's how my day went yesterday.
I hopped on the Greenie (the campus shuttle bus) because I never walk to class since I have no motivation and it takes a good 15 minutes for me to get there. Yes, it's probably the short legs. >_>;; I went to stats and amazingly stayed awake in that class ! minus 10 of the minutes. Afterwards, had lunch with Alice and a bunch of other freshies. Printed out some stuff for Case in Point and headed over to Hovorka Atrium. That's the entrance I always come in from. Actually, there are many entrances into the atrium, but that's the view of the entrance I like best. =) Then I take a seat in the hard-rock, uncomfortable chairs to look over the lab. It's a continuation from last week and I was pretty confident that I'd be able to carry out the stuff in the lab b/c it was mainly distilling stuff that I already did in Dr. Lee's lab. We're basically working on purifying our solution and lots of steps are taken in order to purify it. Including extracting water from it using anhydrous sodium sulfate. And that's what it looks like ^ ^. Then after that, all that yellow, urine-looking solution was filtered through a vacuum. So far, Jing and I were doing very well. We were like high-fiving each other and the TA & prof. were like, "good job!" [pats on the back]. But.... now came the most difficult part (which I thought would be the easiest part for me). We set up our hood just like it is there. And once the fraction distillation began.... the most important thing is not to have the solution "bump". My setup is perfect. The vacuum is working. It's condensing... and then suddenly ! around 130celsius, my yellow solution bumped like CRAZY and my product was basically contaminated and still impure. So I started over again. And waited patiently. Jing's just sitting there watching her reaction happen. So I'm thinking, "Alright. It'll work this time." The TA and Prof. assure me that now it's all better. It won't bump again. And waddya know. it does !!! And that was around 6:10pm. And the lab ends @ 6:15pm. So do you think I got out of lab on time? No way. I walk back to Northside (another 15 minutes) in time to get dinner with Amy (my new little sibling ~ wheeeeee ^ ^). Then right after that I head over the worship practice for the Koinonia Retreat. Finally get to my room around 10:45pm. did you catch that? 10:45PM !!!!! I was absent from my room for over 12 hours. That's just ridiculous. I hate the month of February.

Lookie. I straightened my hair, too. Didn't turn out exactly straight. But for the most part it is. =)

Haha. But at the same time I love it because this keeps me busy and not bored and wasting time. I hate that, too.

btw.... I really like my ochem lab professor. I hear that he'll be a real mean person when you really screw up in lab. But I screwed up kinda bad yesterday. Sure, I didn't break anything. But I definitely did mess up. I was afraid that he was gonna bite my head off because of what other students said. But he was really assuring and helpful. And because I looked so worried and scared, he just told me one more time, "Don't stress. It's normal to have your solution bump." =) Yay. Maybe I'll ask him for a recommendation. ^ ^

And yes, I do take pictures during lab. Sometimes I forget like what color things were, how to set this/that up. So taking pictures of it is a reminder for me. =) I did that in research last semester, too. Very helpful. I could write a scientific journal with just my pictures! Haha.

I am SSSOOO loving all the snow here in Cleveland !!! I love walking from classes in the shining sun and having the snow blind my eyes. Haha, okay maybe not the latter part. But definitely I love feeling the freezing breeze and being able to feel so clean. Just b/c the snow is sssooo white! I know I won't shut up talking about the snow. But I really like the wintertime. Every winter there's more memories. Even more than the summertime. Weird, huh.

i don't consider him one of my favorite artists b/c he's the only artist that pops into my mind. it's not b/c i remember his waterlilies and the haystacks. it's not b/c everyone can recall his name and instantly name 3 of his most famous paintings. and it's definitely not because he's everywhere--on tote bags, postcards, posters, umbrellas, wrapping paper--and it's like you're stupid if you didn't know his name.

i consider him one of my favorite artists because the more i learn about him in class... i fall more in love. ...err you know what i mean. ^ ^ i was one of the "rest of the people" who thought that monet only painted waterlilies and his wife, camille. but there's so much more than that ! as much as i wanted to learn about the history, just reading about it on my own wasn't enough for me. it wasn't.. so exciting. but now being in a class and learning it piecemeal, i'm loving it. also, no other artist (so far, yet, that is) makes me feel so emotional. when i first saw this painting (Etretat, Sunset, 1883) and other variations of it, it made me nostalgic. Monet often travelled back and forth to Normandy (northeast part of France) because that's where he first started. And there are so many of his paintings with that exact same landmark. over and overrr again. and each time, it looks different. even though the subject is the same thing. the waves look so real. it's almost as if you could walk out, grab a boat, and row over to the bottom of that cliff. or keep on rowing towards that red hot sun. and it's like the sky and the ocean fuse, almost. the only thing separating them is the horizon. and the cliff. if it weren't for those things, it would seem like the entire painting was of the ocean.. or the sky. i wanna go see Etretat now ! And the more i read up on the painting and its history, i said it made me nostalgic earlier. and it really does. i wanna go back to korea and see what it's like. i wanna go back to birmingham, england and see what the place is like now. will i remember the restaurants we ate at? do i remember the way to school? i wanna go back to st. louis & evansville, IN and stand in front of my homes. take a mental picture and reflect on how my life was back then. i'm not trying to "live in the past", but i wanna cherish the memories. sometimes i wonder, how the heck did i get to where i am now? and it's not by sheer luck i'll tell you that. somehow God worked in my life .. and i was too young and blind to see it. that's why i wanna go back. i may not be able to paint a masterpiece like monet, but i can surely praise God and thank Him for bringing me this far in my life. and i can certainly take pictures. ^ ^

wow. i didn't know monet could make me think of God. haha. but it's cool.

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Evanescence : I read somewhere that Evanescence is not a christian band. but the members are christian. that's why some of their lyrics, i'm like... are they? or nooo...? haha. true? i'm not sure. but i do like their music.

song : evanescence - sweet sacrifice // download HERE // lyrics HERE

...is way too much work. i dunno how the rest of the female population does it. spending over 3 hours at the mall buying stuff. i like it when i have an idea of what i want and i go there and i buy it and get the heck out of there. shopping used to be so easy for me. but today... it was the longest, most agonizing 3 hours of my life. i passed out after dinner ! around 8pm ! who does that b/c of shopping ?!

i was looking for a dress/outfit for KSA night. i did have a fall back plan. go w/ my polka dot dress i wore for the Case in Point concert. which i wanna avoid b/c i don't like wearing the same things especially for performances. so i went to the mall with a couple ideas in mind. went to almost every single store. tried on a bunch of different things. fell into "sticker shock". and ended up in the same place that we started from : dillard's. they had a bunch of dresses.. but they were either too flashy or too conservative; too short or too long; too big or too small.. it's so hard to find a dress for me ! WHY. but anyway. so i ended up buying a white smock and jewelry. later, we went to target and i bought some shoes. buuuut after trying it on.. it looks cute. but not performance-worthy. sooo i'm gonna hafta fall back on my polka dress. which is super cute. but i'm gonna hafta find a different top. soo now i'm in search of that. =)

the month of feb. is so busy ! that's why i haven't been updating like crazy.

but back to shopping. i caught myself thinking verrrry materialistic thoughts. i wished that i made $$ of my own so i could buy those shoes. which i probably, in reality, would only wear about a grand total of two times. i also wanted to buy all these jeans, when i already have too many. i wanted to buy like all the earrings i could even though i don't wear all the ones i have now. i was getting so greedy the more i shopped ! it's so bad for me ! i dunno how the rest of you do it. i'm gonna go back to my old know-what-you-wanna-buy-and-buy-it mode. that's the only way it works for me. =) i dunno when i got so into my looks. who am i trying to impress? hahaha i have nooooo clue.

i do have an obsession with shoes. not necessarily buying expensive shoes... but just having lots of shoes. i dunno why ! what's my problem ?! i don't think i've gotten to the point where i need to go into rehab. buuuut still. it's gonna become a problem.

anyway. i'm out. i gotta sleep for church tomorrow ! x)

stupid of me not to take my camera with me. AIGOO ! but it'll be snowing like aaallll week so there's no worry.
but it was snowing so much today ! not like blizzard, people get stuck in the snow kind of snow. but i mean like blankets of snow peacefully falling from the sky. so soft you can hardly feel it. not icy when the winds are like 25+mph. even though there was no sun, i loved it so much. i couldn't stop staring at the snow. even though it was cold, i took off my mittens just so i could see the snowflakes melt on my hand. i guess i never appreciated something like this because i'm always driving in the snow. and last year i didn't wanna walk in the snow. but something's different about this year. dunno what it is.. but i'm loving the snow. every minute of it. i hope it never ends. =) just kidding ! spring needs to come sometime. but for right now.. i wanna enjoy every moment of the snow. i felt like someone who's lived in the bottom half of the hemisphere all her life and suddenly got introduced to snow. it was like a new sensation that i could not explain. some joy that was just surging inside of me. almost made me break out in song. but then i realized that i'm in the middle of a crowd, so i refrained. ^ ^

KSA (korean student association) night's coming up ! Feb. 9th. ooo i'm so nervous. i don't even know what to wear ! haha that's like the biggest thing that's bothering me.

Valentine's Day Dinner on the 10th of Feb. haha reminds me of Calvary Youth Group days. now what will i wear to this?! hahaha..

Koinonia Spring Retreat : Feb. 23-25th !! DANG. Month of Feb is busy busy busy !!! but the retreat will be super awesome. it just will be. i KNOW it will be. b/c our God is AMAZING and He'll make great things happen.

that's it for now. hopefully i'll take pictures soon. like tomorrow! ^ ^ gotta do my pchem homework now. byeeee

i never thought that i was the type to lose things easily. but apparently i am ! it's really sad.. b/c it means that i am no longer reliable. let me tell you a story.

over winter break, i lost my license (temporarily). i didn't realize it until a week or two later when i checked my wallet to make sure i had my license b/c i would be driving a lot the next day. and waddya know... it's not there ! so i tried to retrace my steps (up to two weeks back) and figure out how i lost it, where i lost it, when.. etc. i narrowed it down to.. i think i went out, in a hurry, to run an errand... just grabbed my license, w/o my wallet so i wouldn't hafta carry that big fat thing.. and perhaps it fell out of my pocket. but WHERE did i go?!?!?!? that was the the pressing question. the next day.. i drove around w/o a license. haha risky. buuut i've never gotten pulled over. so why should i get pulled over. and no, i didn't get pulled over, luckily. and that night.. a small card came for me from a church. confused, i opened it anyway and there it was ! my license !!!! apparently i lost it while i was dropping off esther for OIL. yup. that night, we did leave in a hurry b/c we didn't know what time she had to be @ that church until it was too late. and i really did grab it out and just left. and i guess it really did fall out of my pocket while i let her go and i was running across the parking lot. i was surprised and incredibly thankful that no one took it, broke it, and someone returned it to me. =] i felt like the woman who found her two pennies or the shepherd who found his one sheep out of a hundred. yea. it was awesome.

but today.... i lost my key. the KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY. thankfully not my casecard. but the key's just as important. i need to be able to check my mail. just in case our suite is locked up, i need to get in ! but we never lock it (shh, don't tell anyone!) so i guess it doesn't matter. i dunno anyone who ever locks up their suite. i guess someone has to have something stolen in order for us to realize that we need to lock up. but hopefully it doesn't come down to that. so yea. hopefully it'll turn up.. somehow. b/c i don't wanna pay $75 for a new key. that would SUCK. sooo bad.

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before koinonia 오빠 and i made a snowman !!!!!!





his name is mr. snowman. and he lived a short life. b/c after koinonia... he was brutally murdered by some stupid, heartless, snowmen-hating people. how dare they ! it was a sad and tragic death. but it had to happen, i guess. we all end somehow. this was the first time i made a snowman in a LONNNG time. i always gave up like halfway through. b/c it kept on falling apart. but i think the motivation to make one bigger than 오빠's worked ! hahah b/c mine's the very bottom one. awyea. ^ ^ who wins?! haha but anyway. it was so much fun. who knew that snow could be so much fun. i only wish that rain could be like this. only if it weren't acidic ! i didn't wanna touch the untouched snow. but it was so tempting. haha. just had to. if you haven't yet.. go out, make a snowman, dress him up. then make snow angels. and here's me with mr. snowman. haha i wanted a closeup so you could just how large he really is. if his head's that big.. imagine how large he is in real life ! i remmeber the fun times when my brother and i used to build a fort and make snowballs all ready to go. preparing ourselves for war.. against who? haha we didn't know. but JUST IN CASE yknow. even though it's sooo cold, in my opinion, it's better than being hot. if it's hot.. i just wanna die. if it's cold, i can always bundle up and cuddle w/ that special someone... who isn't here yet. haha. gotcha ! you thought i had someone didn't you ! maybe you didn't. watever. =)

anyway. that's enough of the snow. but i'm excited b/c for the rest of the week.. it's alllll snooow !!!! it's gonna snow foreverrrrrrr !!! now please answer this : where was all the snow during christmas in CHICAGO !??!?!?!?! pooooo.





first week of classes are over. DANG.
how will second semester be different? hmmmm ~~

i'm really hungry. BUT i'm gonna update.. just for you =)

the past 2 days were .. indescribable. all my expectations were surpassed and what i was dreading turns out to be something that i'm looking forward to. of course, first impressions can be deceiving, but it's alright. let's go thru my classes.

pchem : okay, first of all, the class is now like 3 times the size. all these chemical engineers came in and now our class is over 30 students. whereas last semester there were only like 10. MAXIMUM. the prof. has a funny accent, but it's cute. haha. even though the topics will be highly abstract and really confusing (for me, at least).. i'm gonna work my butt off in that class.

sages : this was one of the classes i was dreading. but the prof. is real down-to-earth and after listening to exactly what "geography of wealth" means.. i'm good to go. even as i was reading last night the assignments for today, all these sociological questions about our childhood environments determine our wealth in the future, or maybe it's our genetics, or maybe it's just natural selection. our education? parents? place of birth? etc. what determines wealth? what is wealth? and why do some people have it and others don't? is that fair?

ochem lab : WOOOOW. okay now this class is easily going to be the toughest class. so many little details that i CANNOT overlook. b/c scientists just don't do that. ^ ^ but i'm super excited b/c we get to do bigger experiments and i know more of what's going on. rather than having vague experiments like in chem304 last year. boooooo. i get to make a peptide, too ! and guess what... i already did that last semester ! ^ ^ so dr. lee was right, i am a step ahead than the other students. keke.

stats : i have a korean professor ! haha, finally. i was wondering if i would ever run into a korean prof. she's real cool. VERY organized. i love it when professors are organized. i think this class will be pretty easy. and thank goodness i have a friend in that class. whew!

art history : EEEK !!! i just took the class just now. it's on wed. from 5-730pm. i wish it were more often, but every class i bet i'm gonna learn TONS. and guess what else.. i'm the luckiest student in the world ... for valentine's day.. i get to see the monet exhibit @ the cleveland museum of art before it opens for the public !!!!! the exhibit opens on the 18th. so YEA. i get to see it before everyone else !!! just me... (and the other students, teachers, curator, etc) and 50 of monet's paintings. i think i'm gonna develop a very unhealthy obsession with monet by the end of the semester. even though the class is mostly art history students, even someone with enough interest like me will do well. right? riiight =) i bet you i will talk about this class..... ALL THE TIIIIMMEEEE ^ ^

so that's a short summary of what my classes were like the past 2 days.
it also snowed on the first day of classes. haha. what a gift from God ! although some will argue that it's not such a gift....... but i was so happy. even though the sky wasn't very pretty. so i took some pictures today instead when it wasn't 20mph winds, dark skies, and snowing. today was beautifully sunny, some snow left on the ground, and very chilly. but i couldn't stop staring at the sky. i had to stop, b/c i could feel others staring at me as i was walking in the quad. i was gonna whip out my camera and take pictures @ the quad.. but i did very well to resist.

here they are ! and lookie.. they're marked w/ my alias : misura. keke. and my little flower, the cosmos. i added the flower b/c i made that "brush template" on photoshop, so no one else has it. completely original. =)







i know how some people don't like using photoshop to enhance their photos.. but i do. so... stop hating. =) i know my camera's crappy. if i got like a professional camera, i'm sure photoshop wouldn't be needed. and i like making my pictures more picturesque. i think it still takes a good eye to take a good photo and make it into something more. today, i learned about "en plein" which means "in the open air". this is how a lot of romantic and impressionist landscape artists painted. they first went out into te landscape and quickly made a sketch of the land. they did it with light oil, and since that dried in the sun, they had to work very quickly. but they made a rough sketch, then they bring it back to the studio, and make something more out of the sketch. sometimes they add on trees, take out mountains, rivers, etc. the artist can manipulate however he wants it to. as long as it's his own work. ssooo that's my justification. =) i'm simply taking pictures en plein and my studio is on my computer with photoshop. ^ ^

yeeeeeea i'm done. bye.

classes start (for me) @ 10am.
must... wake... up... before... noon!
haha. but it's true. sadly.
at least so much $$ won't be going into textbooks. i think only like $200 will be spent on books. sweet. haha. that's pretty good compared to like over $300 last semester. >_>;; as excited i am.. i know this will be super tough.

but it's so good being back with my suitemates. =] seeing familiar faces. even though i've only known them for .. not so long. i can't wait for koinonia to start up again. for case in point. for tour guides. etc etc. x)

i wonder what my professors will be like. haha, don't i sound like a freshman? keke. i'm only going to the gym once a week. that's no good. i should go more often. i ate wayyy too much over winter break. i don't gain weight during school. i gain weight @ home !!! i become malnourished @ school. so when i go home.. i pig out. snacking all the time. eating all meals. eating seconds. it's disgusting. i know. i got a tour slot ! thurs. @ 230pm. if you're thinking of visiting, sign up for that time slot! ~,^ i hope that my art history class is all it's hyped up to be. b/c i'm SUPER excited for it. i wanna like live @ the art museum. how awesome would that be?! but then i think about the movie night at the museum... and i kinda don't wanna live in a museum. but an art museum is different. no animals, guns, etc. just.. paintings, sculptures, and furniture.

just gotta take it easy. no stress, no mess. =]

haha actually, i know what the RA chinese character is. b/c #1 it's my last name. and #2. i asked around my friends and my parents. my parents basically said that in korean it doesn't really have a meaning. but if you look at the chinese character.. it means naked ! yea. i know. weird. sssoooo even though in most korean full names, the first name means something and the last name is just kinda .. there, it'll be the same story here. the mi and su mean something... and ra is kinda just there.

mi means beautiful. su means poem. but i'm gonna take it a bit further and make it mean a piece of work. like a poem, song, ...picture? maybe i'm taking too much liberty. but hey, it's my name.

the name just sorta hit me yesterday after bible study. strange... very. but it literally just hit me.

=) like it?

was how much i spent thinking about this.

download here.

good morning silence; good morning to myself
good morning to the pain in the center of my chest

it's crazy how much i miss, a simple good morning kiss oh ohh

good morning independence or is it lonliness?
i know i said i wanted this but i have regrets

i pray for God's will be done, the very next day you were gone oh ohh

good morning to the hrash realities of life
and good morning to the fact we're not husband and wife

we made a promise to stay but destiny got in the way oh ohh

good morning...

good morning acceptance; good morning inner strength
i'm loving every moment even the strain

it's crazy how much i miss, a simple good morning kiss
it's crazy how much i've missed, now it's time for me to live oh ohh

good morning...

good morning optimism; good morning to my faith
good morning to the beginning of a brand new day

i know that God's will be done
so i lay down my pain and i'm moving on
i know that God's will be done
so it's a good morning after all

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i'm gonna wake up each morning saying good morning. =)

__still figuring out what to do this summer. but i think i can cross off going to korea for sure. so it's either staying in chicago and doing summer school @ UIC and possibly doing something in the regional computer forensic laboratory in chicago. or stay @ case and do research.

i also didn't know that the regional computer forensic laboratory (RCFL) released a report annually. i was reading up on that .. and dang. i read through their major investigations and it ranged from identity theft to kidnapping to child molesters. criminals were sentenced up to 175 years in jail !!! people don't even live that long! many of the cases took a year to solve. one took only a day. so... definitely not reflective of the tv show : CSI. haha. of course the written investigations were not explained in completel detail, but the general overview was enough. i looked to see if they ever have students come in to shadow or anything.... but with highy confidential stuff, i duno. i didn't find anything. but i will definitely be in touch b/c i'm not giving up easily. i'll call 'em everyday and bug 'em if i must !!! x)

on wed. i drove up to libertyville with 오빠, and even though i didn't tell him, i had this horrible chill run through me. and it wouldn't go away. walking down the street that i always walked down with my two friends to school. driving past dairy queen where $3.25 was spent for an oreo blizzard. driving past the apartments i used to live in. i dunno if the chill was from the weather or b/c of just being in this place again. it brought back good and bad memories.

good memories because i remember spending lots of time with friends. i did well in school. ...and that's about it.
bad memories because it was the toughest 2 years ever. trying to deal with mood swings and those "raging hormones", a pretty much nonexistant faith in God. hoping to fit in with these rich kids and their clothes & hair. getting made fun of a lot because i simply wasn't good enough. outcasted for a while because i was "asian" there definitely was a lack of asian kids @ my school. there are a lot of things that i wish i didn't do because maybe i wouldn't be so sad sometimes. but God is ssoooo merciful. he took a miserable, depressed, hopelessly lost teenager like me and gave me faith & hope and a few friends to last me. =) imagine if i hadn't turned to him and He took my hand. i wonder how i would treat my brother and my parents. i wonder if i would have Calvary, a strawberry, 오빠s, and 5beautiful suitemates... and everytime i look back, my vocabulary changes, my style changes, my thoughts change, am i maturing?! haha. i like it. God's molding me into the woman that i am. or will be. =) and make me ready for .... h-i-m.

everyone's going back to school next tues. no matter what school you go to.
have fun this last weekend and get pumped for a new semester !!

until i go back to case! it's actually kind of sad. i like sleeping in until 11. taking 20 min. showers (as opposed to my 5-10min. showers @ school). rolling around in bed (if i did that @ school, i'd fall 3feet). eating out with friends and laughing. going noraebang!! but in reality... i am still a student. that's my "occupation" isn't it? =] so gotta go back to the school i am studying at. i'm ready ! here are some pics from yesterday @ the apple store. 오빠 and i had a little too much fun. probably b/c of boredom or lack of things to do... =X you can see more pictures

i'm so excited for this week !

hopefully lots of pictures to come. weeee'll seeeeeeee. =]
i'm leaving Sunday, the 14th around 3:30pm. arrive in cleveland around 7:18pm. ^ ^

Mann... back to Case already. this is what i have to look forward to. just to remind you what my schedule looks like. haha. i'm not sure when case in point and koinonia leadership meetings will be.. but those things will also be somewhere in the evening times. looks like a light schedule but do not be fooled! in chem322 (ochem lab), i hear like every report is a FULL OUT report. which basically means.. lots of hours will be put into it. and the art history class, as much as i'm gonna love it, i'm gonna hate the papers i'm gonna write. since it's a 300 level class, i can expect lotssss of papers to be written. and even for my sages (usso270) class, i already received the list of books i need to buy. so purchased those online (since he didn't order them @ the bookstore ! arggg) and i can definitely expect papers to be written for this course, too. ssooo basically LOTS of papers. i hear stats isn't that hard. but i'm not much of a stats person. and i hear chem336 (pchem 2) is gonna be killer b/c it's all this abstract modern physics crap. soooo great. >,<
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i'm still unsure about what to do over the summer. here are my options :

1. stay in chicago, take summer school (physics 2) @ uic
2. go to korea for a month (june), visit family, spend time w/ daddy
3. SPUR (summer program for undergraduate research) @ case from june-august

all of them look beneficial. and i really can't choose. i feel like i need to stay @ case and get research in. but i also need to take physics2 eventually b/c i don't wanna take p2 @ case. too scared. haha. and i really wanna go to korea b/c i haven't seen my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmothers, for 7 years! it's been way too long. argggg.. dilemma.

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it's hard to let go. but i've done it before. so i can do it again. can't keep living in the past. must move on.

=] keep your chin up and let's see that smile.

V^__________^V

i remember when i got my first box of crayons. my first REAL, american box of crayons. not the broken ones stolen from church. it had 24 whopping colors! twenty-four!!! can you believe it. i thought i was the luckiest girl in the world. until at school, some students were talking about how crayola came out with a 64color crayon box. then the 96 ! then the 120 ! dang. i couldn't believe my eyes. how many different colors there were ! purple mountain's majesty, macaroni and cheese, robin's egg blue, pink flamingo, mauvelous, fuzzy wuzzy brown... that's about all i remember. haha. i used to (just for the heck of it) empty out the entire box, sharpen the ones that needed to be sharpened, and then color coordinate them according to the rainbow. and then @ the end would be the browns, gold, silver, white, gray, and black. for some reason that brought satisfaction. weird. anyway. i was looking at the box that i have right now. i dunno if you can tell, but there are definitely a lot of crayons out of place. the white one is in the wrong quadrant, and was put in upside down. there's a purple amongst the browns. the orange & reds seem to have it put together. buut i see some rebellious reds in the wrong quad. the yellows seem to be randomly dispersed. what's my point with all these crayons? my point is that no matter how ridiculous the names are, no matter in which quad the color resides, when you look at it, you marvel at the diversity of colors and how beautifully they blend together. for you neat freaks and perfectionists those colors being out of place may really bother you. trust me, it bothers me. but that's besides the point. my point is that no matter how much i like order and try so hard to attain it, things will never be perfectly my way. it's like trying to prevent entropy. it's like impossible. no matter how many times you put it in order again and again.. it will fall into disorder. either you or someone else will put a crayon out of its place. and that shouldn't discourage you from organizing it again, b/c maybe you have ocd, BUT the important thing that i'm trying to convey.. is that all you can do is look at it and marvel at it for what it is : a splendid spectrum of colors. children's favorite drawing utensil. sure, you can look at it like society and view the crayons out of place as the outcasts of society.. but i guess that can be discussed in another post. right now.. i just wanna focus on how cool the colors are ! so marvel away. =) if you need to, buy a box of crayons yourself ! they're so much fun. i use them to even highlight my bible. ^ ^

yay for crayons. i think i'm gonna go out and buy the 120 crayons someday. x)

last night i was watching the history channel until 2am. tonight it's vh1's america's next top model marathon : season 4. i watched from the final 7 to the final 3. that means FOUR WHOLE HOURS of this show, haha. wOw. anyway. by the time it got to final 3, i was getting sleepy, everyone in the house is sleeping and then i think, ohyea. i can find out who the winner is online. but as soon as i turned off the tv, i was like, wait, but HOW do they get there ! instead of just wanting to find out the winner (even though i kinda knew who it was gonna be) i wanted to what more challenges they had to face. and of course.. i need to find the meaning in such things.

okay, so i'm sloooow when it comes to watching (and keeping up with) tv shows. i know the show's been around for 3years already. haha. but at first i thought it was really dumb. b/c when i think of modeling, i think of abnormally tall & skinny skeletons strutting their bones with paint on their face and posing mindlessly for a camera. i still dunno what the "purpose" of a model is.. but i do respect tyra banks for putting on this reality tv show. she "gives real people an opportunity to prove that they can make it in the high-stress, high-stakes world of supermodeling" (quote from their official website). sure there are criticisms about how the winners are still inexperienced and can't make it in the real world.. but the journey they go on is incredible. these girls are like around my age, give or take 2 years. here i am, hoping that my life will change by praying small prayers and lazily moving on through life. and these girls.. snatched an opportunity to enter this show, and see if they can make their dreams come true. haha and here i am. trying to apply it in my life. harhar.

i don't see college as my one opportunity. i see as "another chapter in life". i didn't see undergraduate research as my one opportunity. it was "another thing i had to do in order to graduate". some of these contestants got an extra chance to show the judges what they're really made of. that they really wanna be the next top model. that the fire inside of them will really burn instead of flickering in the distance. i got an extra chance from my research advisor, too. i get that extra chance from my parents every semester. and from God.. oh i can't even begin to count how many times He's given me a second, third, 100th chance. true, that these girls literally only had one week to shape up and i have more time and i will definitely take advantage with the time off this semester. but the point is... why am i living like there's so much time and that i can get through life with just the bare minimum? i shouldn't be living in a panic like the world's gonna end tomorrow. but God's giving me opportunities DAILY. 5 minutes and a cell phone to call up someone that i haven't talked to in a while. an email as a reminder that i need to pray for this person. a CAR to drive someone home who lives just down the street. a great education @ case that some students can only dream about. but instead of seizing the opportunity, i ignore them and then wish later on that i had taken that chance. lame is all i gotta say about that.

for the contestants.. they learn how to overcome their fears. this one girl had to dance an african tribal dance and she was crying b/c she literally could not dance. she does not have a rhythmic bone in her body. but she still made it through that round and landed second place overall. lots of catfights going on. attitude problems. self-esteem issues. death of a fellow friend. relationship problems. in the end.. each girl went home learning something about themselves. maybe not the first girl who gets eliminated b/c it's too early in the competition. but who knows? anyway! they learned something. and i bet that they're all doing well and learned so much from that one lesson. looking back, i bet they'll say, "america's next top model helped me to ____________."

when i look back at college, i don't wanna see only my mistakes. although i do not regret any decision i have made thus far, i do ask myself, why did i choose the "safe route"? college is only four years. 3 for some and 5+ for others. but most of us have just four years. four years to give it all i got. in my classes. in my research. in koinonia. in case in point. in church. in relationships with my suitemates. with the younger classes. etc. 2007 really will be different. i can just feel it. college is already halfway over at least for me. change has gotta happen n o w .

thanks america's next top model. even though you still haven't taught me what the purpose of becoming a model is.. you've shed a light on my safe life and how i need to really seize my opportunities. and thanks God.. for giving me a brain to comprehend these thoughts @ 2-3am. haha. i dunno why you keep on giving me chances, but thank goodness you are a merciful God. =)

this is the story of .. strawberry and kiwi.
for 6 and a half years they have been friends. they met in a typical place : jr. high school.

kiwi walked into orientation to pick up her bus & class schedule. kiwi just moved into a town called buffalo grove and the middle school she was at didn't have a lot of asian kids. so she was surprised when she saw a few asian girls standing before her--they were also picking up their schedules. but they looked too "cool". so kiwi didn't bother introducing herself. but suddenly a girl turned around and excitedly introduced herself. she said her name was "andrea" (she will be strawberry from now on). kiwi kindly smiled and hurriedly picked up her schedule. she went home and dreaded this new school she would be starting.

the first day arrived and the same jitters were there. who would be in her classes? would there be any cute boys? are her teachers mean? would she be able to find a good seat instead of sitting all the way in the front, or all the way in the back? could she do well in these classes? where are the gym locker rooms? but the biggest worry was settled during gym class, when a blonde-haired girl asked kiwi to sit next to her during lunch as a request from strawberry. kiwi had someone to sit with during lunch ! this had never happened before. that was the only thing kiwi looked forward to allll day. finally lunchtime came, and sure enough, strawberry was there to welcome her. they exchanged conversation about where they were born, what their classes are like, how many siblings they have, etc.

since then, days were filled with laughter in the school hallway. before and after lunch they walked arm in arm laughing about the mos random things. the nights were filled with phone calls back and forth about the gossip at school. they only lived two blocks (or so) from each other so strawberry went to kiwi's house, and vice versa.

when they entered high school, things got tougher. the only class that they still had together was lunch. and that's not even a class ! they started meeting other girls in their classes, but somehow their friendship still stuck together. the toughest transition was into college. they both were immature and didn't know how to keep a friendship over such a large distance. but slowly they both were learning : the value of their friendship. and now, neither can deny the power in their friendship. through thick and thin, they have been there for each other. holding each other, wiping each other's tears, praying for each other, laughing with one another, etc. who could think of another better match than strawberry & kiwi.


forever ! no matter how far the distance. 400 miles between chicago & cleveland is nothing ! no matter how far.. Christ is in our friendship. and He is the glue in our friendship. who's been pressing each other to keep the friendship going. to pray for one another. to confess to each other, even the darkest of secrets. 사랑해, 딸기야.

here are some pictures from new year's. =)








for more, go HERE.
there's no "the end" b/c the story hasn't ended. our story goes on forever... and ever... =]