MiSURA

=)
I met with my advisor today. WHAT a cool man. =] I wanted to just shake his hand and say, "you are amazing. thank you so much." But I'm gonna keep on meeting so I didn't wanna act like that would be my only meeting w/ him for the rest of the semester. I ordered a book from OHIOlink (this thing that connects all the libraries from colleges and public ones together and we can share books and whatever) from Bowling Green Univ. so I dunno how long it'll take to get here, but hopefully it will soon and I'll spend the rest of the semester reading up.

My advisor gave me lots of good advice.
1. I gotta do better in Analytical Chemistry.. -,-^
2. I should work w/ a professor that does autopsies ! awyeeea. b/c what if right now.. even though i really wanna see what it's like, i come to hate it? he said that sometimes you gotta see what you don't wanna do to see what you really do wanna do. "Go sample", he said. =] So that's what I'm gonna do. Get in touch w/ doctors in the Medical School.. maybe even take an anatomy class, take biochem & biology courses.... I just don't know if I'll have time for all this. Maybe I should declare a Biochem BA and also a Chemistry BA. Who knows. But all I know is that right now I'm on the BS track. The Biochem BA track looks too complicated, and I'm already halfway complete w/ my Chemistry BS requirements. Sooooo I'll probably stick w/ Chemistry BS but take a billion Biochem & Biology courses. Ohman.. that classes I never thought I'd take.
3. I should go into FBI. That's what my advisor said. When I was describing the stuff that I wanted to do, he said that wat I was describing sounded like I was going to go into FBI. AHHHH how amazing is that?! Think it could be possible? Me? FBI? Dang. I'm looking into internships, research opportunities and such. Ohmannnnn. Like the "Visiting Scientist Program" that's held in Virginia. I've never been in Virginia... sssooo this should be interesting. Or if I bring a car and I have lots of time to work.. then maybe I can work @ the FBI agency in Cleveland. Think I'm going crazy? I think I am, too. CRAZY FOR FBI. =) Or even better...... the FBI HONORS INTERNSHIP PROGRAM. Unfortunately housing is not provided, but if I do get accepted, I receive over $6,000 and lots of opportunities to interact w/ the FBI agents. holy holy holy moly. I'm gonna work my butt off now. This is it. This is it.

Summer plans, then?
Summer '07 - SPUR
Summer '08 - FBI Honors Internship Program
Summer '09 - Maybe another internship maybe close to home in Chicago or something
Then get hired?! By the FBI?! Saweeet. ^__^;;

Well, let's not get so ahead of ourselves. I'm still a second year and there's lots to do. And I've still gotta pray abuot all this. And I've gotta get accepted. Of course. But I have high hopes. I can do it.


I'm so excited I can't even think straight. I just want it to be 2 years from now and I wanna work work work w/ the FBI. I can do it !


=) Have a great week all.



Google's seriously too cool.

6Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 8And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

13Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. 14And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. 15Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

--II Corinthians 9:6-8, 13-15


There is a bright side to giving. It's not just losing whatever you have. When you give out of the love of Christ--ohman, it feels good. verse7 is pretty important, I think, because we often mistake giving as giving everything that we have. Which is not true. verse7 makes clear that we only give what is decided in our hearts to give... but as long as it's cheerfully given. If we're forcing ourselves to give more than what we can afford, and if we're holding back b/c we're selfish & greedy.. that's just wrong. If I had $5 in singles for offering, but only wanted to give $1... aigo. That's no good. Why can't I give all $5? What's holding me back? What could I possibly buy with $4? If we gave that extra $4, couldn't that go to something greater? Maybe it could help a kid go to a retreat and possibly even accept Christ! Maybe it could go to having better food for lunch on Sundays. Keep an eternal mind when you give. When I think about what could happen just b/c I gave that much more... I smile.

As much as I wanna just quit school and just devote my life to helping others.... I think it would be kinda difficult b/c I would quickly run out of things to give. ~,^ So I still gotta do something w/ my life. But meanwhile, I do wanna give more than what I'm giving now. B/c I still hold back. Some things really are free in life. No matter what the rules of economics say. =)

And I really like verse15. I don't see exclamation marks used often in the Bible. This is probably the first time in II Corinthians that Paul uses the mark. "indescribable gift". That's how Paul describes generosity and the act of giving. It's a gift that we all have. But we choose not to use it sometimes. Yet we are encouraged to use our gifts.. so use it ! =) That's all.

===================================================

Today's weather was gorgeous ! After a crappy Saturday, this day was much needed. So of course, Clara & I took pictures. =) We exited Clarke Tower and I bursted out in laughter. Clara of course laughed at me, too. But I couldn't help but laugh and smile b/c I was ssssooooo happy.



see? can't you see my delight?












THE END.

Telling them and hearing them.

Why do I like telling them?
helps the listener know about me. i get really excited when i tell them. maybe a bit too excited, even when they have no point i'm excited to share. and when i share something about myself w/ them... it means something. we're no longer just acquaintances. and even if it's something as surface-level like the funniest thing that happened in chem lab so far, it's cool. it's still sharing and learning.

Why do I like hearing stories?
Haha, pretty much the same reason. i learn more about that person. you may even discover that you have things in common that you may not have noticed unless you shut up and just opened your ears. i like watching the body language of the speaker. i like hearing the tones in their voice. i like watching their hands move (b/c i move my hands a lot). i like their smile. i like when the shift their eyes as they think about the next phrase. i like it when they use funny voices to imitate other people in the story or acting it out. but most importantly, i like seeing how their story unfolds a piece of that person.

stories are cool. share more of 'em. listen to more of 'em.

It's a lot of work, man. Especially this class. It's quantitative and analytical chemistry... so even though the entire lab is done by the computers, since they're so accurate, if i screw one thing up.. i basically have to do that part all over again. Today there were 5 parts to this lab. I did parts 1-4 just perfectly. Without a doubt. And then suddenly... part 5 screws me over. These amino acids, seriously. Maybe I added too much of the 6M HCl or something, but the equivalent points were just not showing up. Each time we're supposed to do 3samples. This is my third time doing the 3samples. That means that i had to make 9separate samples. Measuring out the amino acids is no fun, either. We only needed 0.05g which is a very small amount and I can't go too far over b/c then that will mess up the results. I had to carefully measure out 0.05g of the amino acids.. NINE times. add 3-4drops of 6M HCl .. NINE times. and then make sure that the pH was 2.1 or below.. NINE times. and then run each sample... NINE times. It's not frustrating. Oh no, of course it isn't. =) I just wanted you to get a taste of what I do every Thurs. from 1-6pm.

I thought I'd be done by 4pm...unfortunately b/c of these mess-ups, I am still here. Typing this entry. Pictures to come later b/c I was so bored during lab. =]

=================================

Now I'm back in my room. Safe and sound. Sad, b/c the sun is gone. But I caught it on camera !




then like I said.. I got bored in lab. =) Great thing is that the lights in lab are awesome. ^ ^



our lovely titrator machine. unlike you high school kids, we no longer have to manually titrate acids & bases. kekekekek xP and it draws graphs for us. =)

The unknowns that we have to figure out.

i love these things. kimwipes will wipe anything down clean. i wish we used acetone in class. acetone also just washes everything away. cleans everything.

that's it ! i'll probably update about how II Corinthians is going... later. ^ ^ Bye ~~

Free Hugs in Korea. Share the love people. Let's all hug.

Now, I am not the biggest hugging person in the world. Unless you approach me with your arms open, I probably wouldn't hug you. Unless you're one of my suitemates, best friends, or mentor. xP No, it's not b/c I think you have cooties. It's just b/c I dunno you. You dunno me. why should we touch like that? Hahaha. But deep down, I think a hug does wonders. It does feel good. When you're crying, you want someone to embrace you. You wanna hear someone's heart beating. I like it when I wrap my arms around someone to make them feel safe and comforted. Even when you're happy, a hug's the best. Hugs are also cool b/c you can do it w/ the opposite gender and not feel so dang awkward. =) So hug away. Maybe I'll step out of my comfort zone and not do so many high fives and start hugging.






HAHA. Who am I kidding. I'll hug when necessary. But if I could, I think I'd wanna do this free hugs thing, too. I'll probably be marked as THE weirdest girl on campus, but at least I'll be known also as the huggable girl. =D keke. aigooo I'm done talking. Gotta go to class. Bye all.

7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ...
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

1. i'm ordinary

like some no-name jar of clay. baked dirt. colored a pretty color, or not. i'm still dirt. and in it God's power rests? dang. that's awesome. i still can't believe that God would wanna use me to cheer someone's day up. to eat dinner with that freshman. to bring that troublemaker to Christ. =) God's so cool.

2. whatever i'm going through are just "momentary troubles"

whether or not the troubles are related to preaching the gospel, or just random stuff like can't get up in the morning. a C on your midterm, boy/girl issues--whatever they are ! in the end, they're worth something.

3. walk by faith

..b/c the unseen is eternal. sometimes we need to believe to see. you say that you can't see God working and the miracles happening and Jesus moving in this generation? seeing isn't believing, sure. but believing sure is seeing. (that's a quote by emerson.. paraphrased a bit).

this really encourages me. b/c i don't want to give up. i don't like giving up. giving up on finding that last object in i spy is okay. but giving up on a soul who needs Jesus? that's not cool. i hope you're encouraged, too. and those three points are definitely just my thoughts.

i like verse 8 a lot. no matter how much crap i'm going through............... it's still not as bad being completely crushed, left in despair, being abandoned or destroyed. God doesn't give us things that we can't handle. That's what i found myself saying. whatever it is, we can bounce back from it. he pushes us to the limit........ but not beyond something that's beyond our control. how amazing is that.

i'm just blown away. just words from 2,000 years ago. still applies today.

[siigh] i can go to bed w/ happy thoughts. =)

========================================================

some random pictures from today's episode to the computer lab to work on my chem lab report.

=] fall break is over. but i get a 3-day week. saweet.

my midterm grades.. not so hot. let's not discuss.

i need another break. =D thanksgiving break, come soon !!

too bad the hush doesn't last that long before winter hits. especially here in cleveland. ha. same w/ chicago.
like the pic? haha, the before pic was so bad. colors were so dull. mostly because the day was cloudy and crappy.
yay for vivid colors. =) or yay for photoshop. ^__________^V

fall break is almost over. boooooooooooooooooo >,<

oooo my nose is tingly.

II Corinthians 2:15-16

15For we are to God the
aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are
perishing. 16To the one we are the smell of
death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a
task?

Just as the smells of those above foods & fragrances make us want it all the more.. we need to be like that in our own lives. Be good-smelling. =]

Something I noticed.. it says that "...we are to God the aroma of Christ...". I thought about this for a while, and realized that Paul's saying that if we are the aroma of Christ, then that means that we smell like Him. And if we smell like someone/thing, then that means that we are like that someone/thing. [gasp] Gosh, what could that mean. That we need to be with Christ 24/7/365. Meditate on His words, know His words, and act out His commands. That way we will attain His aroma. How cool is that. We'll smell just like Jesus. =)

II Corinthians is pretty cool. Keep me accountable so that I don't suddenly stop reading halfway through this book. Thanks.



Hope you're all having a wonderful break.

I've gotta work on my presentation for evolution.... or watch a movie. ^_____^V

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

We are meant to comfort. I don't think we were made to hurt, harm, make each other's lives miserable. Every week I hear from my friends about many things. Divorce, abuse, betrayal, death of a family member, and even something as everyday as a bad test score.

Two years ago, I said that I was alone in this race. That I needed to be by myself. But this passage proves me wrong. We are meant to hold each other's burdens. We need to break down in front of a friend and cry in their arms. We need to place our troubles and sufferings in Christ. We all suffer--we all need to comfort and be comforted.

2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. --Galatians 6:2

This whole topic really hits me because everytime I call a friend back at home, or even my brother, there's something I need to pray for. We know that we are there for each other, even though we are separated by 400miles. When they tell me good news, I rejoice with them. When they are breaking down and weeping, I weep with them and my heart cries out for them. No one should ever be alone. I feel like since I've been here @ Case, I'm getting better at just shutting up and listening. Of course I'm getting better at talking, too, but I meet so many people and hear how drastically different their lives are ... but at the same time, at the core of it, we're all struggling. God's been teaching me how to be compassionate. How to listen and how to comfort them. Maybe they need an email to cheer them up. Maybe they need a cup of coffee. Maybe a piece of chocolate ! Maybe an hour just to have dinner together. Maybe a prayer lifted up for them. How do you comfort others? But no matter how much I do this... I think I miss the most important chunk of comforting others. Letting them know that God is with them no matter what. Just b/c I'm with them, praying for them, doesn't mean that things are good. Because God is watching over their lives, and that Jesus is alive in them, that is why the comfort is that much sweeter.

I think half of what I do here is just to listen to others and comfort them. If I become disabled in everything else I do, I pray that I do not lose the ability to comfort.

Song of the moment : Never Alone - MercyMe // download [here]

I think I shared this song before. But it's so good. You never are alone. For sure. =)

She sees him on the other side.
He holds in his right hand her flower; his other hand stretches towards her.
Fear and uncertainty keep her from stepping forward.
But he is calm. patient. so calm and patient. and still.

5 years later, he is still there.
persistent. calm. patient. so calm and patient. still still.

10 years later, he is not there.
she stands alone. cold. regretful. so cold and regretful. and still.
she looks out at the water; it is frozen.

she makes her way to his side. wondering what his life was like.
she turns around to look back at the world that she left behind.
he is standing there. in her world. stretching out his hand.. once more.



say what you mean. mean what you mean. do what you mean.


today.. i thought a lot about time. what my concept of time is. how precious it is. how i'm always saying, time will heal things. and it really does. but sometimes, there is no time to lose. and some things just gotta be done right then and there. yes, i wrote that just now and it's no good. but i thought about relationships for a bit.. and how we wanna "wait" for "the one". a part of me is anxious to hurry up and find him because i've been in relationships before and the longer you wait... the less of a chance that you have. especially in college b/c people come and go. no one really stays. i know of two couples that have gotten engaged in the past 6months. i know of another couple that will get married soon. i've been to three weddings in the past 2years. people get married every sat. of every freakin' month. how in the world did they do it. did they wait? was it spontaneous? i'm not saying i want a relatinoships right now... nooo way by no means am i saying that. i'm just saying, that i don't wanna sit idly. so does that mean that i'm looking for potentials? perhaps. maybe i should be. maybe i should make that list of what i need/want. i should start praying for him. but i always wonder, have i already met him? or is he still to come? is he that nerdy geek who sat next to me in math class in 6th grade? is he that dummie who kept on talking out of line in history class? is he the guy who was liked by every single girl but never pursued any one of them? hahahaaa.. i make myself laugh as i'm typing this out. you're probably laughing too. probably @ me. at how ridiculous i'm being right now. please, keep in mind that it is also nearing 5am. so what i am saying is probably completely out of line and incoherent.

it's fall break for me. yay yay.
i'm here @ case. of course. i'm gonna be shadowing more tours on mon. & tues. so i'll be making money. hooray. spend some quality time w/ the other losers who are also here. =] totally j/k. they're cool cats. especially this honey here.





except she left me to go to columbus. so did clara. hannah's in chicago (GRRRR). eunice & rachel are going to ny. so i'm ... all alone. but grace is here. x] so it's all good. did i tell you i'm here for thanksgiving, too? =] don't miss me, chicago. i know you don't. kaka. that's why i won't be coming home for the summer, either. i don't like you, either. puhaha!

i have so much to share. i wish i could tell you everything. buuuut i can't. there's just not enough time for me to type out everything.





let's go back to the bridge thing.
this is my fav. painting for a couple reasons.
1 - i think of sappy stories. about how a girl & boy meet. =]
2 - i went to the japanese garden in chicago botanic garden, and i remember looking over the bridge into the water and i saw my reflection. but it didn't really look like me. it looked like my childhood pictures. i had my hair in pigtails. maybe i was just seeing things.
3 - i like it when artists blend other cultures into their own. obviously in this case, monet was influenced by the japanese. some of you are japanese haters.. and that's fine. just don't hate their beautiful bridges. =)
4 - it's symmetrical... yet not really. and that small inconsistency throws me off... but makes me that much more intrigued.

do you like it? why? for the same reasons i do? or different ones?
i have yet to see monet's garden. but i wanna see it so bad. i'd be happy in a field of flowers rather than in a pile of success and a billion letters after my name.


list of museums that i want to visit :
musee d'orsay in paris
musee marmottan in paris
metropolitan museum of art in new york
national gallery of art in washington
museum of fine arts in boston



basically all for monet & renoir. and every other impressionist artist ever.
if you take me to any one of those.. i will love you forever. but i might desert you so i can camp out @ the impressionism section. i'm gonna pull up a chair. or a comfy couch. and just stare, think, and write. so if you go off somewhere to look @ other stuff, you know where to find me hours later. i'll still be there. maybe looking @ another painting. but i'll be in the same section.
i'm absolutely obsessed and i haven't even started that art history class about impressionism for next semester. hehe. i wanna be prepared. =] but i bet everyone in that room will know much more than me.

have a great weekend.
i know i will.
with lots of sleep.

1. Katrina Survival Story Ends in Grisly Killing, Suicide

okay, seriously. what is up w/ this. not only did they survive katrina... but all b/c she caught him cheating and they argued about it, the guy wants to strangle her and then CHOP HER UP? talk about a double whammy. or let's talk about anger management. i guess spending $1500 is great, huh. what can you spend it on anyway. drinks? a suit? penthouse suite? for this guy, he spent it on food, drugs, strippers, and friends. i guess "tying up loose ends" is a good thing. don't wanna die w/ no regrets. i wonder what suicide really does to a person. would it release them? since they're choosing their own time of death. it puts like the deadline on their life. "by this time i need to get this and that done. i should probably talk to this person and make amends. who freakin' cares about grades. they never mattered anyway. let's drop out of college by then, too. ride a rollercoaster and scream my head off, too. yea, never got a chance to do that."........making a list of things-to-do before that deadline. i wonder if it really will set you free. but what about all those things that could've happened, but you'd never know b/c you ended your life early. what about the person you really will fall in love with. the people's lives that you may have touched & changed, that special kiss you receive under the mistletoe, the joy when you feel to hold your child in your arms, etc etc. what about those things? i wouldn't wanna end my life just so i can get good food, friends, chippendales, whatever.

2. Police 'confident' slain neighbor didn't molest tot

i love how they're so "confident". even if you were to molest someone... why a 2-yr old? how well can this girl even talk. "he comes to me in starry nights." honestly, what 2yr old talks like that. i don't think i ever said anything until i was like 4. but that's just b/c i'm weird and my parents were afraid that i was a mute. this is all i gotta say about this article. i just don't understand why you would molest anyone either. it's not even pleasurable. unless you get pleasure from torture. sick minds.

3. Q: Do you swear to tell the truth? A: No

This article isn't disturbing in the sense that someone is dismembered or possibly molested, but it's disturbing b/c a poor is being taken advantage of to assist in murder. if this were a movie, it would have a happy ending and everything would be cool. but it's not. so crap happens. she looks so sad. and i think the article mentions her crying about 4 gaJILLION times. her "boyfriend" doesn't even help her out and to make the story even better--he was also "mistakenly released"..from prison ?!?!?! that's just insane. they better fix up the police department. and not only was i thinking about the girl as i was reading this, but i was thinking about just the question, "don't you wanna tell the truth?" i've never had to testify. i've never had to hold someone's life in my hand. but when the time comes, i dunno what i'd say. of course i'd say yes b/c if i didn't i'd probably be in big trouble. but when i am speaking, will i really? will i hesitate to say anything b/c someone may go to prison and it's someone that i love.. will i have been brainwashed to say something and make up a scenario that didn't really happen? am i thinking too much? =) i think so. but when that time comes, and i do need to testify.. it'll be b/c i'm a csi and i have hard proof that this man/woman did it. ^ ^ and i will always tell the truth.

that's all for today. whew.
i have my schedule finalized for next semester. i have the best schedule in the world. seriously. no joke. ch-ch-check it out.



i'm gonna make buttloads of $$ giving tours @ on thurs, getting experience from undergraduate research (which i have yet to put on the schedule..). undergrad research will probably be somewhere around oh.. i dunno. all of thurs whenever i'm not giving tours. haha. and in between chem & math on fridays. here's my thoughts on each class. b/c they're super cool.

chem336 - honors physical chemistry (just a continuation of chem335)
usna210 - FORENSIC SCIENCE !!!!!!!!!!!! YEAYUHHHHHHHHHHHHH. i'm gonna ace this class and i will be the best. no doubt.
math224 - differential equations - AKA : calc 4 & boring. but supposedly the prof. is really easy, so easy A here i come ! =D
chem322 - lab methods in organic chemistry. i only have one semester of this. whew. but i'm excited. i kinda like organic chemistry. guess i gotta review !
arth374 - impressionism to symbolism. okay, after forensic science, this will be my favorite class. i'm really thinking about an art history minor. too bad this is my first art history class i will be taking. haha. but i will take art history 101, 102, etc etc. i really wanna learn more about art. dunno why. just have a very strong interest. this is not only my fav. time period... but i dunno a lot about it. ironic, huh? but after this, i will become an expert. and i will give the tours @ the art museums. ^ ^

no gym for this semester. i'll take it easy =] total credit hours... 17 at the most.
and yea, like i said, chem397 (undergraduate research) will be inserted in there .. somewhere.

looks like i might stay in cleveland over the summer. i need to apply for this summer program (SPUR), get professor recommendations and whatnot. buuut if i'm in, i get a stipend of $3,000 and housing allowance. hopefully things will work out. ^ ^ i wanna be awesome in the lab.

i'm sssoooo excited. i just wish my excitement reflected the grades.. =(

but let's not end on that sour note.
i'm still in lab. isn't it amazing that i typed this post up during lab ! oh the things that i do in chemlab. ^ ^
i had some godiva today, too. joyce's bday was awesome. i'm gonna hafta wait till i get back to my room to post the pics up w/ my awesome captions underneath. so get on the edge of your seats, grab the handlebars, and anxiously await my return b/c the post will come soon enough.


seeya.

what am i losing..

1. weight
i know some girls will be like, you're so lucky. buuuut yea. i'm not lucky. i'm not eating well. i think the last time i ate fruit was like last week. the last time i ate a good meal was... yea. another while ago. i live off of starbucks iced caramel macchiatos and swiss burgers & fries. not exactly the ideal meal. my pants also slide off. i don't need to unbutton & unzip to take 'em off. just slide 'em right off. i need belts.

2. sanity
lack of sleep really sucks. i was falling asleep in calc today, and when i dozed off but came back, i saw my professor in an elf outfit dancing a jig on the table. I KNOW. creepy. and you should see my outfit today. what the freak am i wearing? hahaha.. did i get dressed in the dark? the more i look @ it, the more "uniQue" it looks, so it seems fine. but @ first i was horrified. who the hekk wears this?



check out how long my hair is.. if you can tell.


3. points
the chem304 exam was SO hard. he put questions on there that we didn't really learn. like who knows what ascorbic acid does to the Mn2+ ????!?!!??! it was NOWHERE in the lab manual. so were we supposed to find this out in our own time? who does that? but anyway. i lost a LOT of points today b/c of questions like that.

4. $$
i dunno where it all went. but it's gone. good thing i'm making some money. =D



things i should lose..

1. hair
i think i need a haircut. maybe just a trim. it is getting quite lengthy. but i think long hair's sexy. =] at least on girls.

2. weight
haha it's funny that i say that b/c that is what i am currently losing. but not in the good way. i'm losing weight in the bad way--by not eating. so let's lose it in the right way.

3. all this junk !
why is my room full of junk already ?!?!?!? time for a ... fall cleaning? =]

4. useless pictures
i have pictures of things that i don't need. but i keep it "just in case". i save everything that i think is funny. just like keeping homework that i had from 1st grade. who does that. and songs. i realized that i do have a lot of songs that i don't know.. but again--just in case. i wonder if this can turn to an obsession. keeping everything and never throwing anything out.

5. distractions
whether it's my fault.. or theirs.. go away ! xP



more of...

1. Jesus
i'm not reading enough of the Bible. man, i have my own room.. and i'm loving it. but i don't take the advantage of having privacy to pray more. to read more. to study more. =(

2. you
i'm so disconnected.. i don't call anyone anymore. it's like my focus shifts from these handful of people.. and then to the next few.. and i float around like that. i'm sorry.

3. brain cells !!
too bad that we don't make new brain cells. if we could, that would be SO awesome.

4. time
if i could ask for just one thing... it would be time. well there are a lot of other things that i'd ask for, too..... but right now, it'd be time. and this reminds me of lara croft : tomb raider. that one quote :

To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.

I wish I could just stop and appreciate. I wanna walk slow. I wanna dream. I wanna take a stroll in the park. I wanna splash my hands in the water. I want to spend at least an hour talking to each of my friends, getting to know them. How great would it be to be able to hold time in your hands?
I'm being efficient.. aren't I? Maybe it is possible to do all these things.. and I just haven't found the way. ..my head hurts.


song to download : wind's nocturne // download [here]
i think it's from some video game? or anime? .... something like that. i remember watching a flash anime (shii's song) that played this song and i fell in love w/ it. =]

hope your week is going well !
it's my suitemate's, joyce, birthday today !! =D BIG 20 !!!!!!! Yay. not 50% of our suite is now 20. Ohyeaohyea. Pictures to come laterzz

is going to be broken down into 3 parts.
1. Race for the Cure
2. Pre-Homecoming
3. Homecoming


1. Race for the Cure is for breast cancer research. There were SO many people there to help out the cause. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was my first time doing anything like this. I got lots of free stuff, too. ^ ^V keke. But that's not the point. I went w/ AXE so I could fulfill my service opportunity for this semester. And we did the 1mile walk rather than the 5k run/walk. At one point in the walk, the road was divided up into lanes and to the far left was the lane for breast cancer survivors. We all cheered for them as they raised their hands in glory. I wonder how that must've felt. After years of battling cancer, they are still alive, running, and happier than ever. I started cheering for them, too. I had no clue who they were. but who cares?! I don't really get why we walk/run when we can just give money. But I realized that by walking/running w/ the women (a few men, too), this is a way to appreciate them and see that people do survive and conquer the cancer. Many many people were also wearing pink tags that had people's names on them who were patients due to breast cancer. So many women & men. Even in AXE there were people who had relatives that were currently struggling. I had no idea it was so common. Well, maybe not common. But yea. I remember my 7th grade english teacher had breast cancer, too during the year. And she left for several months... and ended up taking the rest of the year off. She returned the next year, as a survivor.. and w/ half the length of hair that she had before. Before she had the most beautiful golden hair. =) Anyway, but yea. We were all praying for her b/c we liked her so much as a teacher and a role model. And seeing her the next year, healthy again, made me all happy and I ran up to her and gave her a hug. =D aww. Let's do more of these ! =)

2. Pre-Homecoming is exactly what it is. Before homecoming. I did very last minute shopping for a dress. Who wtaches "The Look for Less" on the style channel? Well, I kinda felt like that. I had an idea of what I wanted. Black dress, preferably. Knee length. Thin straps if straps at all... and those were like my only must-haves. Clara & I ran all over beachwood looking in all the stores: guess, banana, limited, dillard's, cache, and i dunno where else. everywhere it was waayyy too expensive. We finally made it back to Dillard's and I didn't know that the juniors section was on the THIRD floor ! We were scrambling around on the second floor trying to find it. haha. anyway. finally bought a dress and made it back to my room in time so jing came and we all started getting ready.

3. Homecoming.
Who's my hot date?



Check it.


Yeayea. =)

Had dinner @ Pacific East. Got my usual : unagi, shrimp tempura, and spicy crab. i miss manooben... =(



Like my dress? kekeke. =)

And then on the dance floor. Thank goodness the music was good this year. And there was even a screen that was playing music videos.....that was definitly not there last year. wat an improvement. Now, maybe we can get some REAL decorations going on. ^ ^




all the way to the left is my big, matt !!! =D If you dunno what that means.. that's okay. It just means that he's my big brother in AXE. xD yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. and he's in case in point w/ me. double yayyyyy =] in the middle is also another axe member. yay yay ~~ ^ ^

pretty ladies. good music. air circulation in the ballroom. yummy pastries. neat gadgets & souvenirs. i had a good time. =]

i'm in love w/ my dress. i'm gonan wear it again. AND again. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN !!!!

so if you see it in every picture from now on.. please understand. =]


Song of the moment : Overture to "The Thieving Magpie". Download it. You'll recognize it like 5 minutes into the piece. Yes, it's a classical piece. =) The piece is by Gioacchino Rossini.

Creme Brulee is like... prayer. Haha. But really. (It's probably the lamest analogy ever.. but that's what happened to me tonight. Hey, gotta take what you got.) This is what a creme brulee is. It's me. It's you. It's whoever is on their knees ready to pray. On the outside you're pretty. Decorated w/ shaved chocolate and burnt sugar, adorned w/ mint leaves, accessorized w/ raspberries. Man, you even smell good. But underneath that thin, fragile skin lies a heart that is soft, open, and ready to receive. No matter how hard it is, the power of prayer is greater than the hardest of hearts. And once it's cracked... the rest of it crumbles, too. That's what it is like to be broken.

Today's prayer experience wasn't like past experiences. I wasn't on my knees wailing my eyes out. I wasn't shouting @ the top of my lungs for God to change the world. I wasn't bawling and babbling incoherently that even i couldn't undersatnd myself. There wasn't loud music to cover up the loud noises, either. I wasn't beating the ground b/c I was frustrated. And I definitely wasn't repenting of anything. I was just spending time w/ God.. w/ others.

"...pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge." --Psalm 62:8

The speaker read through Psalm 62.. and this part struck me the hardest. This is a reminder of an earlier post about how Jesus calms the storms in our lives. We seek out shelter when we're stuck in the rain. We seek food when our stomachs are grumbling and caving in. We want to go crazy shopping for clothes b/c the new school year is starting. But why don't I go to God when my heart aches? When I heard this verse, I felt like God just broke the hard, yet fragile outer skin of me. And broke into my heart. He let me know that He's holding me. That He's got my hand. I was broken tonight. But not the typical picture you're thinking. It was a good night. I think I even wrote a song while I was praying. I dunno if that's normal.

=)

Here's some pics of the creme brulee thanks to Rachel & 강우오빠.







homecoming tomorrow. i have a hot date.

Take care ~~ ^ ^ Tomorrow's a lonnnng day.

It's cold.

Title is a quote by Bill Blass, a fashion designer.
Sure, I'll believe it. I think it could be. And here's my reason why.
Red means a whole bunch of things. It symbolizes such things as love, passion, ferocity, ambition, and courage. Why are we sad? We're sad because someone put us down. We're sad because the other person could not return the love. We're sad because we're not as beautiful as the person sitting next to us. We're sad because we're ashamed, disappointed, and scared. Sad sad sad sad saaaaaaaaaad. That is sad.

We need a balance in our lives. If blue means sad. Then red's gotta mean the opposite. Next time I feel sad.. i'll just look @ blood. hahahhahaha.. juuuuuuuuuuust kidding ! ~,^

The article that I read actually has nothing to do with what I just talked about. The article is about how red tomatoes can reduce the risk of cancer. So go read it if you want, but I'm gonna keep on blabbing.

Lately, I've been getting very weird dreams about love, make-up and break-ups. Maybe it's beacuse I've started watching sex & the city (since I have yet to watch all seasons). And obviously all they talk about is sex, love, and relationships. My dreams have been gross and some have been entirely romantic. I'll share one of each. =]

the gross one
i watched an episode of sex & the city last night and carrie had met up with a high school sweetheart of hers. it was 20 years after their high school graduation. Basically, that was what my dream was about. My high school boyfriends had called me up and asked me if i was in town and if i wanted to meet up with them. Come on, it's been 20 years, so i said, sure why not. Unlike Carrie's situation where her boyfriend turned out like david duchovny.. mine turned out like nasty, beer-bellied, smelly, unrefined, and balding guys. the thing that i didn't understand though, was that each took me out to someplace nice... but they were dressed like they were homeless! so i ran away.

the romantic one
takes place in paris, france. where else?! looks like i was studying abroad there. or maybe i was just living there. i was on a boat on the seine heading one direction.. and another boat was passing us in the other direction. i was standing by the rail, admiring the buildings, the atmosphere, the music, the sky, etc, when someone caught my attention on the other boat. he was also doing the same. except he was taking photographs and scribbling something on a notepad. the boats drew nearer to each other.. but obviously not close enough that the boats were touching. maybe i was trying to read what he was scribbling.. but i fell over the edge !!! into the very very unsanitary, dirty seine river. i couldn't swim (altho in real life i can) and was flailing like crazy. That's when he jumped, too. Like the lifesaver that he is, he abandoned his camera & notepad (which also fell in the river) and came to my rescue. He pulled me ashore and ...you know the rest. =)

Fun, huh. I'll share some more when I remember them.
But at least the dreams aren't sad. Well, one was. But at least I won't need to look @ red, eat red tomatoes, or do anything w/ red b/c i'm not that sad.. yet. keke.

happy birthday to everyone in october. october's seriously the best month ever. if you disagree.... then you will answer to my wrath !! rawr.

sí, sí, puedo.

1. si, si, puedo. i can be a terrific tour guide. =)
today was my first experience shadowing tours. i planned to shadow one @ 10am and another @ 130pm. however, there weren't a lot of people signed up for the 130pm tour, so i ended shadowing two tours back to back @ 10 and 1130am. that's three hours of walking, folks. each tour was unique. the first one had two guides, but only one student and his mother. the 1130am tour had one guide and three students each w/ someone, too. both tours went mostly the same route, but they talked about some different things, one guide shared some more personal stories, another student asked a lot of questions, some buildings weren't even mentioned in one of the tours, b/c the students had nothing to do with those buildings, one of the guides didn't really know much about the music dept b/c they don't need to be, one of them really knew everythign about the theatre dept (which i have no knowledge of, either), one was involved in greek life, but didn't even talk about it.... etc. there were lots of diff. things that were going on. and i'm still learing ! i looked over the packet again and there's lots of stuff to say.. but most of it i already know just b/c it's common knowledge or watever.

2. si si puedo. i can raise up my grades.
i'm not failing, do not worry. but i'm definitely getting straight As. i dunno what's wrong w/ me. i'm studying. i'm focused. or am i? i'm only taking like 4 academic classes : pchem, Q&A chem, evolution, and calc3. Research.. i still dunno if it's for a grade. I haven't broken anything, so I guess I'm okay. ^ ^

3. si si puedo. i can become a better __________.
younger/older sister, daughter, student, friend, accountability partner, mentee, tour guide, suitemate, sister in Christ, prayer warrior, etc etc etc... .

4. si si puedo....... i can fall asleep @ night knowing that God will make it right.
yes. He can.

=================================================

and some pics & a song just to lighten the mood. =]





yesterday was a beautugly day. it was first beautiful b/c jing made some yummy noodles for my tummy. and we took some pics since she's been begging me.. heheh ~,^ but then it turned into a bit of an ugly day b/c crap happened. but everyday it's like that.

today, i saw leaves falling from trees. all sorts of colors : yellow, orange, orange-red, not bright-red just yet. but sooooon it will be. =) ahhh ! i love fall. but only second best to winter. ^ ^ the best of 'em all. should've taken some pictures, b/c the leaves were like in motion in the air, dancing, swirling, twirling, teasing me. and some of them attacked my face and made little scratches. haha, j/k. but they did hurt when they flew by my cheek. the trees are shedding off all that they had grown during the spring & summer. time to lay low for a while during the winter... and then start it up again. i wish i coudl take off a layer of skin like lizards and start over w/ a new one. even tho it looks the same.. just the fact of cleansing itself feels good. but i guess that's what repentance and baptisms are for. well, more repentance than baptism b/c you only get baptized once, right?

i'm really tired after the 3hours of walking. so i'm gonna take a nap. x)

oh ! song to download // 백지영 (Baek Ji Young) - Woo Ah // download [here]
This song is SO cool b/c it's like sexy & cool. just listen to it. you gotta here it to realize what i'm talking about. xP

weekend's not quite over just yet. but i thought i'd update about it anyhow. today was just amazing. i planned to go to the botanic garden w/ a friend..... buuut i didn't know that we had to get tickets from this office on the quad beforehand. my bad. so we ended up going to the museum of natural history instead. i already went there maybe 2wks ago for my evolution class. but we only visited the dinosaur bones. today we checked out the planetarium and the gem & jewels gallery. OHMYYGOOODNESSSS............ those precious gems & jewels.. just priceless. how can something so small be so complicated and dazzling ?! with such vivid colors. check 'em out.


this is tourmaline. my favorite so far.


opal : the birthstone for the month of october.





so pretty, right? these are mineral eggs. forget diamonds. i like these colored ones. =)

the planetarium is really cool. did you know that pluto is no longer considered a planet? am i slow or something? i feel like i heard this before... but i thought it was still under investigation. guess not. guess it's for sure now. we only have 8 planets in the solar system : mercury, venus, earth, mars, jupiter, saturn, uranus, neptune... and that's it. so what is it now : my very eager mother just served us nine.... what? maybe instead of nine now it'll be noodles. =) my very eager mother just served us noodles ! =)

the weather was so beautiful................. ohmygoodness.

then clara & i went to the ISA (indian student association) cultural dinner & show. so amazing ! i'm back into my bhangra stage again... =) anyway. we took some pics beforehand b/c the weather was so amazing.

lovely picture, eh? =)


clear bluuuue skiiiies


we thought a shadow picture would be pretty neat. turns out we're right.


ISA ! man, they're freakin' amazing. i'm gonna go every single freakin' year.


i like food.


a lot. =)


who took this blurry picture. hahaha isn't it awesome? my face is priceless. so is clara's unrecognizable face.

but really. i could tell these students worked their BUTTS off. and they only had like 2 months to prepare !!! crazy stuff. their culture is so alive, colorful, and fascinating. their costumes are beautiful and elegant. the music is catchy and fun to dance to. the dancing is animated and celebratory. the singing is so unique, too. their culture is truly a l i v e.... i wish koreans were like that.



tomrorow's gonna be beautiful. i love it when the sun brightens up my day. but only when it's 65 degrees and clear blue sky, w/ a light 8mph breeeeeze. yea yea? what a nice day. i didn't get anything done. including my laundry. o well. >,<>