MiSURA

today's reading gave me a lot of encouragement (Luke 7:36-40):

I finally finished my post about Korea! Here I go.

There are many things I learned from this trip. Some of them unexpected lessons.

1. The Korean women reminded me of the women in Kazakhstan. Always wearing high heels. All about looking good. Thin is better. I'm a hippo compared to them. It's hard to tell when the older women become old old women because they still dress like they're 25 years old... and suddenly the next day they dress like they're 65 years old. But the women have great fashion taste. I'll give them that. =)

2. It's hard to be a Christian. Period. For me, in the U.S., if I wanted to, I can get away to a park and just be alone. But in Korea.. it seems like I can never retreat to anywhere. I can never find peace. Everywhere it's noisy, full of smog--it's suffocating. Physically, mentally, and spiritually.

3. The older generations can be generalized as incredibly selfless, self-sacrificing, somewhat bitter and jaded, yet hopeful. I met a lot of older people (from my daddy's church and my family members) and they exhibit these characteristics. And they agree that, in general, the same could be said of the rest of the people that are their age. And the hard times have created in them a strong sense of loyalty, pride, and honor for the family. It's always family first. That's what my parents always taught me as well.

4. The subway is incredible. So efficient. Always on time. It's wonderful.

5. THE CHURCH.
Following is an excerpt from my journal, written on 23 May 2009.

"Speaking of churches, it's kind of insane how many churches there are here. If they don't have their own building, then they're on a floor of a commercial building. There's one at least every block and some have more than one on a block! I know that S.Korea experienced crazy revival in the early 20th century and that it is one of the leading countries in sending out missionaries, then why can't the churches work together? Instead of having a thousand churches in one square mile? It just baffles me. ... I wonder how many of the past presidents were Christian."

Looking back, I think I was kind of harsh and brash. And I have to factor in that Seoul is a city and basically everything that I experience/see in the U.S. it just blown up times 1,000. It seems more obvious in Seoul is what I'm trying to say.

I talked more about the church the next day, 24 May 2009.

"Back to the church, I think I know now why there are so many individual churches. No pastor wants to be the associate pastor. He wants to be in control of his own flock. ..."

I go on to talk about specific pastors I know so I won't post that up. But I concluded with the thought that ALL PEOPLE NEED LOVE. Corny, I know. But even the associate pastor needs love. And he must give love. If they really loved the people in their church, then it doesn't matter whether or not you are the head pastor or not. You will trust and humble yourself before the head pastor. Now if the head pastor is ... corrupt (for lack of better words) then action must be taken. It makes me seriously angry when I see pastors who don't genuinely love his people. What's more frustrating is the pastor who just gets up and leaves without notice. He gives up on the people. Love. Do you have it?

This kind of topic is really personal for me since my daddy is also a pastor. I learned a lot from seeing his newly-built church. I can tell you more in person if you're that curious. =)

I think I'll end this here for now. If more comes up, I guess I'll post it. =)

¹⁴How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? ¹⁵And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" Romans 10:14-15

"Go, go, go
You hold the truth that saves so run and shout it to the world
They can't believe in something they ain't never heard
Go, go, go and run with those beautiful feet"

"stay focused if you aint got no ride
your life aint wrapped up in what you drive
the clothes you wear the job you work
the color your skin naw we Christian first
people living life for a job make a lil money start living for a car
get em a house a wife kids and a dog when they retire they living high on the hog
but guess what they didn't ever really live at all to live is Christ yeah that's Paul I recall
to die is gain so for Christ we give it all he's the treasure you'll find in the mall
Your money your singleness marriage talent and time
they were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is Divine
that's why it's Christ in my rhymes That's why it's Christ all the time
my whole world is built around him He's the life in my lines"

I know it's been ages, but I've finally memorized the first 11 verses. AHH it took forever. Mostly because I forgot sometimes to keep up w. it. =( But I also couldn't bring myself to continue because I hadn't really written these words on my heart.

But the past several weeks... I've really received God's comfort and learned to be full and satisfied in it. Here are some of my experiences...

1. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." v3-4. The topic of relationships has been pretty biiiig these past several weeks. No, not because Yoon and I are heading down a slippery slope, but because I've seen my past mistakes happening in my friends' lives right now. I knew then that God had put me through those relationships not to torture me, but to teach me how to love others who fall into the same temptation--to comfort them just as He comforted me.

2. "He has delivered us from such a deadly peril , and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers." v10-11a. My mom is a huge encouragement in my life and this verse reminds me of her all the time. The first sentence is truth that I know and have always known. But the latter sentence is where I have trouble and where my mom comes in. She's always praying for me and whenever I share w. her.. like when I got rejected from BU.. or when I couldn't decide to do IV intern or grad school.. or if I should get a credit card now or later.. from trivial to important matters, she's always praying for me and for God to be ever-present.

Although I haven't experienced extreme sufferings and hardships, I know God has delivered me thus far and trust in Him to help me endure and persevere through all things.

Here I go continuing to memorize! =)

Note to self: Jesus takes the burdens away. But that doesn't mean that suddenly life gets better. Beware of the prosperity gospel. Jesus tells you the costs in following Him. It's not like you don't know what you're stepping into. Oh, you do.

I really had to think and pray hard about this chapter. Because I hear lots of sermons/conversations about the question, "Is [Christianity] worth it?" Is it worth giving up my life? Is it worth turning away from those sins? Is it worth putting my faith into this heaven that isn't even for sure?

For me, it's not about trying to get saved and getting into heaven. I know that I did not create myself. There's no way that I was formed from evolution. I know that I have no idea what goes on the other side of the world. I am just man. But GOD. The God of the Bible. The God of this World. The God everlasting. HE created me. HE knows what's going on in Djibouti. HE is omnipotent. Therefore, my life belongs to Him. And instead of seeing God as this unreachable God... there is a way! Through Jesus Christ (look at youtube video below). And now I have a purpose: to worship and glorify this God to whom my life belongs. That's a blanket statement, I understand. It could include a lot of things: evangelism, missions, ministry, serving in the church, marriage, workplace, etcetc. But this chapter really helped me to understand the nature in which I live out that purpose: in JOY.

 

I've mentioned many times that my favorite passage in the Bible is II Corinthians 4:16-18.

Therefore, we do not lose heart.

Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what it unseen.

For what is seen is temporary, but what is seen is eternal.

And on pgs. 22-23, John Piper talks about how suffering for Jesus is temporary and the pleasure in Jesus is eternal. That's what keeps me going. I see my life, and as messed up as it is… I know that this isn't just it. The heaven that is unseen (yet known because of what I know from the Bible, but not experienced) will be ETERNAL, 24/7 praising our God. And that is what "far outweighs them all". I love the way that John Piper puts it:

"Nothing can compare with the joy of walking in the light with Jesus as opposed to walking in the darkness without him" (23)

There was so much to this chapter, but surely this is what God was telling me to learn today.

Place your hope, trust, and faith in the promises!!!

• Matthew 5:3-12
  
• Luke 14:14
  
• Mark 9:23
  
• Matthew 6:33
  
• John 15:7
  
• Luke 12:31
  
• I Corinthians 10:13
  

And there's SO SO SO many more! I could go on forever.

And one more reason why it is worth it: Because God has proved Himself faithful over and over again. Remember. Remember. Remember.

real good stuff. watch it. **stole it from my brother's post on fbook. hehe**

Note to self: Remember that Jesus takes our burdens. Remember the physical demonstration that Pastor Matt did at the Koinonia Spring Retreat of 2009. We're all carrying tons of unnecessary luggage that we seriously need to let go of. WHAT am I holding onto?

On pg. 11 John Piper says that "Jesus is not the burden". And I think we, including myself, often mistake Jesus to be the source of the burden instead of the one who lifts the burden. The things I do… should not be burdensome because He is not the source of burden. I must remember that He calls me to come to Him. He works for the good of those who love Him. He is a hard "taskmaster" (11) but not because He's out to get us. Because He knows how hard the world is and how hard we need to be pushed in order to live in this world. Today, my roommate shared about the stand-in for the Who is Josh event. I was so encouraged to hear that she participated. What happened was that everyone who was available wore BRIGHT NEON GREEN shirts that says MEET JOSH with the event info. They stood with their arms outstretched like Jesus did for us on the cross for almost 5 minutes. While she was doing this, she overheard some students confused about the action. Another student explained that it was the symbol of the cross. Another group of students were debating whether or not to throw stuff at them because it's not like they were going to retaliate. They ended up not doing anything, but the important thing is what my roommate realized: Jesus also experienced ridicule, scorn, and hatred. She immediately knew that this event was not about her but about Jesus and how much these people need Jesus. Even a task like this is really hard to do. Your nonxtian friends could walk by and be surprised/upset/confused at your action and might not wanna speak to you ever again. But the fact that my roommate realized more than that is why God put her through this.

In the end, we must CHOOSE Jesus. If we don't choose Jesus, then we choose to be a slave to sin. It's black and white. There's no grey area. Every morning I wake up, I need to dedicate each day to Him. I wouldn't be living and breathing if it weren't for His mercy.

LORD, this day is YOURS.

Tonight, I'm going to be emcee-ing the Who is Josh? event. I have a script of what to say and I'm fairly confident that I can deliver well. And my prayer request isn't that I don't fall on my face or suddenly become inarticulate… but that I can speak clearly and do my part well as so I do not become a hindrance to the Spirit's work tonight. I don't wanna fall on my face bc I don't want people to remember only that instant. I don't wanna mess up my words because I don't want people to remember how they couldn't understand my instructions of what to do next. I want to do well so I will not be a hindrance.

Also pray for everyone who is coming. So far there are 92 confirmed guests and hundreds who are "maybe"s and hundreds more who haven't replied. Pray for conviction. For revival. For this campus to be renewed.

Check 'em outttttttttt
http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/OnlineBooks/ByTitle/

Definitely gonna start reading!!

Can you believe it!?
In just a few days, Case IV and Koinonia will put on an event like never before. We've invited Stuart McAllister to come and speak on the importance and relevance of Jesus Christ in the academic world. I think advertising was incredibly successful and there isn't one person who doesn't know about the event that will be happening. Flyers such as the following were put ALL over the campus:









This is incredible because so many of my friends are asking about this event. Even though it's on a Monday night, I don't doubt that people will come.

Please pray for revival. Pray for Stuart McAllister as he teams up with the Holy Spirit to speak the truth. We will also be doing an altar call so pray for strong convictions.

So exciiiited!!!

"The elements of museography (art history) are highly coded rhetorical tropes that actively "read," compose, and allegorize the past (rather than simply reflect a preexisting past). Museological allegories constitute the verisimilitudes of museography. Art history as board game of causalities, perhaps; and a never-ending one. It is the game's hidden end point which has the most powerful explanatory power, as an ideal limit in which it may be imagined that all things will be revealed."

--from Donald Preziosi's "Museology and Museography"

The latter half of this quote totally defines why I love art history. the hidden end point... makes me wanna read more! Which is shocking because if you saw me in the 3rd grade.. you never woudl have found me with a book. I think it was my way of rebelilng against my parents for making me come to America and learn this new language. But anyway, I digress. The point is, I can't get enough of learning about art.. from all sorts of angles: sociohistorical, economic, biographical, visual culture, conservation, etc. Just think about how many works of art there are. And then think about how many different aproaches there are. Think about how many artists and their works that are still unexplored. It's unending!!! Kind of frustrating when you think about it too much, but it always gives me motivation to keep on reading (even tho my comprehension is low) and writing (even though I have a long way to go in this field as well).

And in a way, this is like the Christian walk, too. EXCEPT we know the end point. It's not hidden for us. I really enjoyed last night's Bible Study. We studied Colossians 1:15-29.

It keeps on talking about this mystery that was hidden for ages... but now it is disclosed to all. We know the hope and the glory that awaits us in heaven.

Now this would be frustrating if we didn't know the ending. We'd be living all our lives trying to make sense out of nothing.

large group tonight! whoo-hoo!!

EDIT AGAIN!: Genius. just genius. Why didn't I see this before?! aigooo. Pastor John Piper's recommendations for Bible Reading Plans. Never too late to start one! =)

wish list? def. the ESV study bible...

=====

EDIT: I read this after I listened to the sermon. The Word is also a SWORD.

=====

AHH.. i am so convicted.
all that i'm trying to "solve".. these "heart matters" are gonna remain as individual puzzle pieces unless i go to the Word and find out what GOD wants of me. what kind of restoration GOD has planned for me. only through the Word can i put together these puzzle pieces.

i wrote in my journal at AF1 that if there's one thing i want my small group girls to get out of the retreat, i want it to be that the Word needs to be like an extension of their hand. i bought them these twistable crayons (which i am in love with, by the way) to make reading the Word more interesting, if you will. for me, i like to highlight as i go along, it helps me remember bc i'm a visual learner. for them, it may be coloring-your-Bible-101, but at least they'll know why they received the crayons.

i also asked myself, why do i want them to grasp this truth?
i see my life as a biiig jigsaw puzzle. as i live each day, every person i encounter, each gift i receive, every prayer lifted up, etc. is a puzzle piece that is added to this entire jigsaw puzzle. some things are in my control (what time i wake up, choosing to walk to my next class, doing my QT) and some things just aren't (what the pastor will speak about on sunday morning, a car accident that i read about in the news, etc). but ultimately, i know that my life is NOT in my own hands. it is in God's hands. and if i try to put this puzzle together w.o His wisdom, then it's gonna turn out to be one ugly, messed-up puzzle. His WORD helps me to complete this puzzle to put the right pieces in their respective places. We have SO many questions about life and we don't know how to go about answering them. look! it's all in the Bible. if you didn't know, it's because you're not reading it.

lately, i haven't been memorizing the Bible. But listening to Pastor John Piper's message on John 15:1-7, i have been convicted to start it up again. i encourage you to also listen/watch it. He opened the sermon by reciting the following passages: Psalm 1, Psalm 16, Psalm 103, Romans 5:1-8, Romans 8, Matthew 6:25-34, I Corinthians 13. He just kept on reciting for about 15 minutes. It was incredible. Word for word, he knew all those passages.

more than just reading and paraphrasing, we must know and understand God's WORD because it is life-giving and is a powerful weapon against the evil one. (Pastor John Piper gives many more reasons why we should memorize Scripture).


thank you Lord for growing in me everyday.

AHHH what an amazing weekend!
God really convicted me about certain things and overall, I think Koinonia learned so much.
So many Koinonians truly want to grow in their faith--they just need the push, tools, and resources to help them get started. One thing the speaker emphasized was family idols. I think as Asian Americans, our family idols will most likely be pride, ambition, family piety & loyalty. But many Koinonians also wanted to break these family idols because ultimately who are we living for?

Something that one of our guys shared about during chapter time stuck with me: "I like how we pray for each other. Normal people just don't do that." Well he said something to this effect. And I wanna take that one step further: I like how we pray for each other ALL the time. Not just at retreats & praise nights. But ALL the time. One thing that I wanna see in Koinonia is growth in PRAYER. Many people may be intimidated to pray out loud and things but at least if it's with one other person, you can kinda ease into it. But I think it's so beautiful when we pray for one another and I'm convinced that this is the best gift we could give to anyone. More than the newest gadget, a clothing accessory, or even the cutest asian colored pens you can find.









I learned much about Gideon and how he kept asking God for SIGNS and CONFIRMATIONS. Last May at Chapter FOCUS week, God gave me a hint about going into ministry with InterVarsity. But instead of pursuing it and asking questions to God about why He wants me there, I kind of put it off and hoped that He wasn't serious and I was deluded into thinking that.

But here at Fall Conference and all throughout fall semester this year God's been really tugging at my heart about this.

During prayer time after the evening message on Saturday, I really questioned God and asked for signs. He told me to go look into my favorite book of the Bible, II Corinthians, and there it was. The other convictions that I have been having this whole year... Chapter 11 and the false apostles. Vs. 6 stuck out to me: I may not be a trained speaker, but I do have knowledge. That is SO me. I am absolutely not the most eloquent speaker. But the words that I speak and share.. I want it to be true. And the knowledge I have accrued since high school has gotta be worth something. The word BOAST also appears myriad times in II Corinthians and I have been learning how to boast more in Christ and what that really means. (Just go through that book and circle all the times Paul says boast)

So... I will be attending the Prospective Staff Retreat on Nov. 21-22nd to get a sense of what the ministry intern does, etc.

The choice of doing this will also be breaking a family idol: pride & ambition.
I talked to my mom briefly about this and she's okay with this.... as long as I go back to grad school and get a "real job". She doesn't mind me marrying someone in ministry, but me pursuing ministry? Think about it. And I have no idea what daddy will say...

In the end, things will happen the way God wants them to happen and I've entrusted my life unto His hands. I'm just glad and thankful for such an amazing weekend. Can't wait for spring retreat! =)


playing outside during free time. gotta love the playground. =)


guys playing basketball...


us watching the guys play basketball...


our awesome staff worker and my roomie!


we should put them on the poster for fall conference next year.


chapter time sunday morning: sharing our commitments and prayer requests.






chillin around before worship starts.


playing babo... poor chris.. =) so un-christian, guys. come on. haha.



FRESHMEN!!! Woot-woOt!


sophomores! i have NO idea what they're doing.


battle of the juniors!


:]


yea seniors! There's a couple of us missing tho.. =(
the sun's in our eyes..=T


ann, dental student who came to volunteer & jopan our awesome staff worker =)


all the girlieeees


don't mess.


AHH i couldn't catch one snapshot of all of them looking and smiling.. -___-;;


yea. um?


but just so i don't leave you with that last stumbling photo.. here's one more. =)



yeeeeeeeea.

You are the God of the broken
The friend of the weak
You wash the feet of the weary
Embrace the ones in need
And I want to be like You Jesus
To have this heart in me
You are the God of the humble
You are the humble King
You are the humble King


Lately, everything I've been reading and learning in the Bible in addition to my everyday experiences leads me to the conclusion that there is no match to our great God because He is so great that He is also humble. And this truth never gets old.

VERY interesting day in pchem today. Please read. =)
After each group gave their presentation, we still had 40 minutes before class would be officially let out so the prof. decided to dig into a little philosophy. First, he wrote down the question: How does enzymes relate to God? Or something along those lines.

Then he went on to explain the models of enzymes and substrates. The first model was the lock-and-key model. This model demonstrated that the enzyme is the lock and the substrate is the key. However, when the substrate enters the enzyme, the enzyme remains unchanged. Now relating this to God, if God were the enzyme and man was the key.. doesn't seem very encouraging that if we pray to God, nothing would happen.

That's why the second model makes more sense, the prof went on to explain. The second model shows that when the substrate enters the enzyme, the enzyme CHANGES SHAPE. It sounded like something completely revolutionary, the way he said it. So now relate that to us and God. If we could change God.. what a concept! God made man in HIS image and we have such things as intelligence and creativity that other living creatures do not possess. He mentioned how God is NOT a vending machine. Of course if you had 50% of the population praying for one sports team and the other 50% praying for the opposing team.. there's no way that both would win. So God can't do exactly as you ask when you ask. He's above that. And he explained how Moses in Exodus 32-33 pleaded for the Israelites after they had made the golden calf b/c Moses was taking too long talking to God at Mount Sinai.

The prof. finally concluded by saying, I hope something like this makes you think about enzymes, prayer, and God. Have a good day.

And he just ended like that.
I was sssooo surprised. I've never heard a prof. let alone a science prof. talk about God in a classroom. Maybe privately in his office or something, but never in front of the students. I wonder if he's a christian.

It was a good day today. I almost slept through my lab ... yet again. But I got up! Gave an awesome presentation with my awesome group. And now I'm here preparing for a short Bible Study w/ Young tonight. Midterms are now over. It's over! Driving home tomorrow. Ohhhh yes.

sometimes i do crazy things and watch a movie around 10pm even though I agreed to go to early morning prayer the next day (meaning I have to wake up at 5am). But I had this sudden urge to watch it. And I learned some very profound things.. about marriage, faithfulness, and trust. I'm not going to go into detail b/c i really must be going to bed. But whether or not the story was dramatized, the fact that his wife stayed with him the entire time, is what makes this movie beautiful.

on a different subject, today's message @ LG was so good. So applicable and so true! racial reconciliation. and not just racially, but socially, and any other --ally you can think of. Just the other day I was making fun of someone and laughing along because of the way he acts when he gets nervous. WOW. is that how Christians evangelize to their friends? certainly not. why do i think i'm superior to others? it's not just what I say and do, but even what I think.

I feel like I've definitely matured from where I was in high school, but the growing just doesn't stop. And you'd think that I'd get sick of never attaining perfection (given my propensity to strive for it). But nuh-uh. I'm glad that I am improving and working on mistakes and realizing that only by the grace of God can I be transformed and have a renewed heart and mind and soul. It's AMAZING what God does for me. How he changes me. And how he rescues me.

Must reeeally go to bed now. busybusy weekend.

sat: early morning prayer; work 9-1pm; shopping; study foreverrrrrrrrrrr; ksa rehearsal
sun: church; study foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrr; ksa show

God, I need YOUR strength ! I know I didn't sleep early tonight but all the more reason to need YOU MORE !

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

i haven't really experienced exhaustion until this week.
after the retreat, i became extremely physically, mentally, and spiritually exhausted. i didn't really feel it until thurs. and fri. i kept on sleeping late and waking up late because i needed more sleep. i missed my classes on fri. and turned in my assignment late. i missed the evangelism training today which was SSSOO important !

summer and winter retreats allow time for recuperation because we're always on break. but this koinonia retreat, i put so much into it that i forgot to take care of my mind, body, and soul.

this is not like me. i'm always up and even tho i'm tired, i'll abandon my needs and do what's important. but i forget to rely on JESUS for my strength. before i sleep, i need to read His word and know that I am completely dependent on Him.

so for lent.. this is what i'm doing. i'm going to give up this game that i'm ALWAYS playing. i'm not gonna tell you where it is b/c if i tell you then you might be tempted to go there, too. =) but i'm going to stop playing that game b/c that easily takes up hours as i sit in front of my computer. and i'm also going to start reading the Word before I sleep, not just during the day and in the morning.

i think i'm almost done recuperating from the retreat.. but now i know why we must be careful when entering a retreat and also leaving a retreat.

have a great weekend. =)

that I update about the retreat. =) that's my lovely small group. young, justeen, joyce (our leader!), me, and lisa. what cuties.

the theme was 20/20: what's your vision? based off of Acts 20:24--However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace. How do you see your own life? How do you see your purpose? How do you see the world? How do you see God working in your life? Those were some of the questions we wanted to answer this weekend. And I think everyone left with strong convictions.

Pastor Thomas from Calvary was our speaker and ohmygoodness... the Spirit was SSSOOO with him and God worked so powerfully !!! I've never seen such convictions and testimonies come out of Koinonia. We really experienced revival.

Many people who weren't even in Koinonia came and made a great impact and left inspired and rejuvenated.

When it comes to retreats.. I'm so used to being a counselor now that I become completely selfless and only care about others getting blessed. So even though it was a great retreat for me and I was running around a lot... I'm just blessed seeing others get blessed. The best time was Sunday morning.. the last sermon.. and EVERYONE WAS AWAKE !!!!!!!! Even one person was standing in the back because he didn't want to fall asleep ! How awesome is that? I expected everyone to fall asleep b/c we didn't get enough sleep sat. night. But we were all just hanging on PT's every word b/c we were THAT HUNGRY for God's word to move us !!! Let's always be like that even when we open the Bible in our rooms.. at power groups.. at large groups.. at prayer meetings.. ALL the time !

Even though the retreat center was freezing.. the fire of God was ablaze and kept our souls warm !

So many freshmen came, too ! Even freshmen that have never been to Koinonia ! AHHHHHH Praise God !!!

And even today I'm hearing stories about how people are picking up their old Christian books that have been collecting dust. People are curious about Bible Studies and wanting to listen to Christian music.. asking more questions.. and really pursuing after God. I'm absolutely encouraged ! Especially from the brothers in Koinonia. I'm so thankful.

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. - Romans 12:11

thank you to everyone who helped plan it...prayed for the retreat...PT for driving 6-7hrs...and GOD FOR MEETING AND ANSWERING US !!!!!!!!!

I dunno why I numbered the slap but I'm sure there will be more to follow.
Slap #1 is for my lack in prayer. i know that prayer works. i've seen it proved over and over again. i know that prayer is a means of communication with our awesome God. i know that prayer disciplines us and sets our eyes on GOD and not on ourselves. i know... these things. i thought i prayed a lot. i was purrrty sure i did. but it's never enough. we must "pray continually". always be in a mindset of prayer. and that's what i've been lacking.

but today, as i prayed with a suitemate of mine.. i was quite humbled by my lack in prayer and upset at the lack in prayer generally. that slap across the face made me realize that without prayer... the retreat for koinonia will not be as glorifying to God because we did not prepare ourselves spiritually; we will be blind to the workings of the Spirit; we will grow to rely on our puny selves than God's infinite self; ... it just sucks without prayer.

there should be... less talking, more prayer. haha. just kidding. actually not kidding. more time spent with God will lead to more productive time with people. constantly ask for humility and love because it doesn't come naturally. fervently ask for a repentant heart because we are sinners at the core and need to remind ourselves of the cross. wholeheartedly ask for discipline and perseverance because we need them to live this life. and courageously ask for confidence and wisdom so that we can go out into the world and proclaim the amazing truth that we all hold so dear in our hearts. See? and all of that will lead to amazing connections and relationships with people: humility and love will put others first. repentant heart will prevent us from seeing everyone as sinners and ourselves as "righteous". discipline and perseverance will encourage others to keep on fighting this fight. confidence and wisdom will be able to plant seeds, nurture souls, and win souls for God's kingdom ! How awesommmme is that.

so pray. it's as simple as that. all you gotta do is talk to God. you don't need fancy words. you don't need to wail and beat yourself up. if in your heart you truly desire to glorify Him... then your prayers are sincere.

try praying just five minutes.

holdup now...... that seems like FOREVERRR. well, yknow what? in five minutes, you can brush your teeth and wash your face and take out your contacts. that doesn't seem like forever. in five minutes, your computer will be turned on and you'll already have checked your first email. does that seem like forever? in five minutes you can make a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and put it in a ziploc bag. surely, that doesn't take all eternity. so ... five minutes is not forever.

i feel so refreshed. even when i walk into a prayer meeting dead tired.. i walk out energized and ready to conquer the world. almost true on the latter part. =) but what did happen is that the Spirit has renewed in me strength to go on. and that's the best feeling after prayer.

Song Playing: Shane & Shane - The Answer (non-acoustic version)

I thought I'd put up some long-term prayer requests for this year as a reminder to me and a call for more prayers from dear friends. =)