MiSURA

this is the last day i will be spending in korea...
and i feel like there's so much i haven't done.
--i haven't spent enough time with my family
--i haven't really seen the traditional Korea
--i haven't experienced the young adult culture
--i haven't eaten enough weird stuff! haha

live w. no regrets, right?
even tho things are hard in the family right now, we have hope.

one of my aunts also bought me a new lens! eeeek! the tokina 12-24mm f4. not as good as the canon version, but who cares! i'm just excited that it's better than that attachment thingie i bought. =)

and on a totally different note, i was browsing through the onion (which i do every now and then) and found some hilarious stuff (when do you not?)

click on the titles for the article or video.

1. Smoke Monster from LOST Given Own Primetime Spin-Off Series
hahahahahha! Oh LOST..

2. Special Boy with Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee
funniest interview ever.
i like the captions at the bottom every now and then.
this is esp. funny bc i'm really good at spelling. kakkkkakaa.

"there's nothing wrong with me, i'm just smart."
"riiiiight...."

3. Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film as "fun, watchable"
funny stuff. ahh i enjoy the humor.

back to the u.s. tomorrow!

Outside of the apartment that we lived in when we were reeeally little. You can't see it but we lived on the second floor.

and as you can see, another short haircut. =)

i totally freaked out last night.
in a way that i haven't in a lonnnng time.
i'm talking smashing the wall (to the point of bruising my wrist), banging the desk, screaming till i grow hoarse, and repeat.
i found out last night that i couldn't receive my diploma at the ceremony tomorrow.

EVEN THOUGH i turned in all the paperwork.
EVEN THOUGH i completed everything.
EVEN THOUGH the dean and the chem dept said everything would be cool.

basically the problem was with my chemistry BA major. i turned in the paperwork for the requirements to be met and details to be squared off. up until the day of chapter focus week, nothing had changed. so i worried... for only a bit. because the dean said he would take care of everything. so you can again, imagine my surprise at that email.

so i had two choices:
1. forget about the chemistry BA and just receive the art history BA in august.
2. take the one class i'm lacking for the chemistry BA over the summer.. and receive both degrees in august.

EITHER WAY, i would be graduating in august.

BUT i don't have the $$ to pay for that.
BUT i don't have housing for the summer.
BUT i don't have the desire even to take that class.

this morning, at the graduation rehearsal, i spoke with the dean (the dean who told me everything would be cool) and he assured me once again that he would take care of the problem. i felt much better. and just a few hours ago, i received an email saying that everything was a-okay. this time for sure. i will be receiving my diploma tomorrow.

more than the embarrassment of not being able to graduate w. my fellow classmates... i was scared of my dad. i didn't know how to tell him that i wasn't going to graduate. i couldn't make up for the time he took out to come to the U.S. and attend my graduation. (note: he arrived yesterday around noon.. and he's leaving next wed. for korea).

today, after the email from the dean, i thought of matthew 6:27.
i spent about 2-3 hours crying, screaming, wailing. my eyes were puffed to the point where i couldn't see even when my eyes were apparently open. i was scared to sleep, thinking that not sleeping would somehow fix things.

TRUST HIM.
I did everything on my part. WHY did i doubt that GOD would deliver?
Lesson learned.
forreal.

I am so screwed.
Last night was not a good night.
Today will not be a good day.
Tomorrow will be even worse if today is really bad.

LORD I need Your peace SO MUCH right now.
I'm about to go insane.
More update on this later...

for case in point next year? =)

Enter the challenge to win free books!

Read instructions carefully.
Actually you can do it even if you're not on twitter.
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The sermon titled above was preached this past sunday by John Piper. Read/hear/watch it here.

I reeeeally need to learn to let go.
I really do feel utterly helpless.. sometimes.
But instead of running to Jesus I just admit that I'm helpess.. and give up.

"Because it means that all my helplessness, and all my deadness, and all my rebellion, and all my spiritual hardness, and all my moral inability, and all the years of my sin are no hindrance to God’s omnipotent Spirit when he wills to give me life through his crucified and risen Son. He blows where he wills, not where we deserve his blowing, and not where we constrain his blowing. His grace is free and sovereign. He does not depend on me in this work." --quote from sermon transcript

Especially with this whole graduate school business...
I need to stop thinking that God is leading me somewhere else besides Case. He's made it pretty clear that all the other schools rejected me and Case is my only option. Why do I defy His authority?

After listening to this sermon, I've finally "decided" on how I feel about going to Case for grad school.

I'm content. I really am. I am satisfied in knowing that He has a plan for me no matter where I go.
I'm excited for what new obstacles He has for me. Whether it's looking for a new church, new community, new career opportunities, etc.
I'm scared because I know I am utterly helpless before Him. I must rely on Him for EVERYTHING. I have no idea what I'm doing. But thank goodness He does. =)